Charlie Braun

I got in to the office today with a ton of missed calls, an email, and a wire from a trainer out in st.louis. He wanted to ask me why I didn't take my AAMS midterm on friday and I read him the riot act. I won't go into great depth, but I explained to him that he needs to talk to me before emailing my branch manager. He tries to intimidate me and it pisses me off, so I let him know he's garbage.

I am 2 books deep into AAMS and only have 10 more to go! Oh boy this is going to be fun. I have to get it done by the 10th of june so I can be on track for sales and prospecting out at the HQ. I'm going to do it just to prove I can.

I have something going on now that I'd love to talk about. In fact, it's really hard for me to stop myself from talking about it now. I don't have anything else on my mind, so it's difficult to talk about other things. Hopefully I'm not in a situation where I CAN talk about it anytime soon, but whatever. I hate reading people's posts that are in code, so I'm going to stop writing one in code now.

MasterBait and Liquor

I have had enough of being negative. I've been going back and forth between being frustrated and being happy for too long. Plus, who can be sour when you find a sweet sign like the one above? That's what I thought too. I've been writing a little bit on the side, and I got so dark recently that the editor of the site stopped replying back to me. I've just been in a wierd place. I'm so happy, then all of a sudden I get these waves of sadness that just roll in and roll out. It's almost like a mini panic attack that is very mild and very pointless. It's not even a big deal, but it's just strange when I'm sitting in my truck listening to tunes and WHAM! Sad. No particular reason. I don't have one specific thing on my mind, I just get sad. I guess it's part of life, but it's strange.

So this is what it's like to have a long weekend? I had a good time, but as is always the case with me, I think I could have done better. Friday was one of the finest days I've been lucky enough to experience, but then the weekend was on cruise controll for 2 days. I did have a great time, but when I have a good time and the weekend is quiet I always feel I could have stepped it up and done something crazy.

Yesterday was my grandmother's 87th birthday party. She's turning 87 tomorrow and she cooked for and threw a party for herself. She's amazing. I hope to be that healthy at 40. My oldest cousin, Anthony, just got a job in the same industry as I am in, so it's strange. We grew up so different, yet we ended up in the same career. It makes me wonder if some of that shit's in your genes.

Today I went to my cousin Phil's house for a BBQ. Another great eating day. I sat and ate from about 2 this afternoon until about 20 minutes ago. I've lost between 30 and 40lbs since I realized I didn't have to keep the weight on anymore for football, and I think I gained it all back in steak, pork, hamburgers, hotdogs, blueberry pie, and cookies. I don't think my stomach will ever be the same. It was an extreme change from the chicken and egg whites I've been eating recently.

I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I decided I'm going to stop thinking for a while.

and on that note:

What is and what will never be

Today could have been one of the best days of my life, or a clarification of who I really am. The jury is still out. One thing is for certain. I am now a full fledged registered representative that can solicit trades anywhere I please. AKA I passed the 66 with a 75. Now I have to get myself through AAMS, go to St.Louis again, and eventually get my heath insurance liscence.

So here's how my day went. My alarm goes off at 6AM. I get up, get dressed, have some coffee, and roll out to sommerset. I totally forgot that I'm an hour closer now than I was at my parent's house and ended up getting to the testing center nice and early. I met up with JoeG2 and we chatted about eCommerce for a while before we finally went in and took our test. From the moment I left until we walked into the building it was cold, grey, dark, and shitty out. I was wearing my hoodie and it was a great choice. It was too cold for me to be bebopping around in a Tshirt, and as you all know, I am Mr.Freeze. So I kick in the door and yell out, "ladies ladies ladies..." and the woman that has seen me in full affect 3 times now doesn't even look up, "hi, NJX70." I pick out a locker and take off my sweatshirt, remove the contents of my pockets, and get out my drivers liscence. I was wearing my FU Football "attitude" shirt with my number on the back. JoeG2 immediately asked "Is that the score you're shooting for on the back of your shirt?" "No, I just want a 71." I get scanned in, sign my name (with a lil heart just to be a chucklehead) and go in. I blew through the first 20 questions in under 10 minutes. At that point I was sure I was going to get a 100 on the test. Then the hard questions came and in force. I just kept blasting through them and marking anything I was unsure of as "review" so I could go back after I was done. I was full of coffee and Xenadrine, so I REALLY had to use the lil boys' room, but I didn't take a break until i was done when I took the 7, so I stayed strong until I had completed the 66. I ran out, used the john, and came back. I had about 80 minutes of the 180 left and only about 40 questions to review. I flew through them a second time and realized that I hadn't spent more than a minute or two looking at any question and really wasn't any more sure of those 40 questions after reviewing them. I decided it wasn't worth having a heart attack about and just hit end. I got a 75.

I bolted out of the place and realized I don't have JoeG2's cell number, so I hung out a minute to see if he was done. He wasn't coming out, so I decided to look over his shoulder and see where he was at through the bubble window. He wasn't even done with the test yet. I left and started making my victory calls. Nobody answered. It was then that I realized it was beautiful out. The sun was shining, the clouds were white and puffy, and the breeze was strong and cool. I rolled down the windows in my truck, set the XM radio, and set off to see my mother at work. No school today, so I got served. I decided that would be a good time to get some groceries since I was in my old hometown. I blasted through the shoprite in about 30 minutes and got EVERYTHING I'm going to need for at least the next week and only spent 80 bucks. I went back to my apartment, and managed to bring all my food up in one trip. My left hand had so much shit in it that I could barely bend my elboe, but somehow I got it all up in one trip. I unloaded everything, made an awesome lunch, and sat at my computer. It wasn't 5 minutes and I got a call. "you want to get dinner tonight?" "Yes." I went from being scared about a test on a shitty day to passing, a beautiful day, and a beautiful girl calling me out of the blue to hang out. We had dinner in motown and just sat for hours talking. I know she's a friend. That's what it is. She's an intriguing mystery. All of that aside, I had a WONDERFUL time with a special girl. I'm better off taking for granted that it never will be (or am I?), but a man can dream, can't he?

Anyways, I'm fired up. I don't want to let this day go, but how else will I get to tomorrow?

Made another sig...

For my forum posts at www.gamebattles.com. The old one I was using had been up for about 6 or 8 months. I loved Sin City, and I am especially fond of Marv, so here it is, my new GB sig:



This is what I did to unwind the night before my 66. Yeah, it's that bad.

Done

I'm done studying for the 66. I've done very well on my pretests and on the 4 finals I took this week, so I'm as ready as I'm going to be. I should be done before noon tomorrow. I hope to have good news because that's the only news I can afford.

I titled this done for a reason. I'm done trying. It's time for me to change focus and do things the way I know they have to be done.

Another memory of my childhood

I was just throwing the change I had in my pocket on the table and I had another memory from the ol' childhood.

When I was a kid I gave my Dad a penny. I told him that he can keep it and that way he'll never be broke. I thought that if he always kept 1 penny that he'd never actually be 100% poor. I was probably a year old at the time. He still carries the penny in his wallet.

Mezmerize

For the love of all things that rock... System of a Down has come out with a masterpiece. Their new CD roxx0rz your b0xxorz to tha m4xxorz. For those of you that don't speak nerd, that means I love it. I've been rocking out to this fine piece of tunage since friday and I can't get enough of it. Every track kicks ass. Even the ones I don't think are the best are better than most crap out there. BUY THIS CD (or find a guy who has it and do what you pirates do... yargh).

So I half-passed my insurance test. I passed life, which was the important one, and failed the other one by 1 fucking question. This whole borderline thing is retarded. I'm tired of failing by one question. It raises all sort of speculation over what I could have done differently. I am going to get my health liscence eventually, but there are bigger fish to fry first. I have the 66 on thursday. I have until tomorrow at noon to rescedule the test... and I might just do it. I have been doing OK on the book tests, but I've forgotten so much. I even read the books while I was in St.Louis and it's just too much information combined with what I learned out there and the insurance stuff I had to learn out here. I'm tired of it, and it's learning overload. I still have to pass AAMS before June 10, so I don't know exactly what I'm going to do, but let's just hope tomorrow is another good study day and I am ready to rock by thursday. If I fail this again I think Bill will cut my head off. So much stress, so little time.


I had a great weekend. Friday Brad came over and we hung out and nerded it up all night. After tearing Halo 2 into ribbons on Co-Op mode we created a boxer on Fight Night: Round 2, Tommy Wellhung, and proceded to punch people's faces into hamburger. After we tired of that we got some grub and watched National Treasure. Another great disney flick. It felt like a mix of indiana jones and the goonies. Good fun movie. Saturday I snuck in about 5 hours of Rainbow Six 3 before I got the call that a few lovely young ladies were going to stop by later. Then we drank some booze, went to a few bars that tried to charge us cover when they were only open for another hour, and then drank more booze. Good night. I've realized that my chances of finding that special someone are severely hindered by the fact that I'm so happy. I just go out and act a fool for a few hours and come home. I have a great fucking time, but I am such a clown when I'm this happy. I scare people off by being a chucklehead for hours on end, but I enjoy myself so much I can't help it. I guess somewhere down the road I'll realize that I've been single too long, but for now I'm just having a blast. I almost forgot, when I got the call that it was going to be me and a handful of wonderful women I called my cousin Phil (who at first wasn't going to go out) and got him to come over under the understanding that he would stop by for an hour or so and go home. After about 3 seconds he dropped the famous last words, "Man, all I need is one thing to push me over the edge into going out all night." I threw him a beer. He made the call to say he wasn't going to be home until Sunday. He's going to make a great drinking buddy. The best part about saturday was that he got to hang out while I was in go mode and survived. Unless my buddies from school are around it's normally pretty tame when it comes to drinking, but his parents think I'm a lunatic. At least now he has honest ammo to use against that perception. He can go home and say, "hey, we went out, had a couple drinks, went home. No extreme drunkedness. Designated driver. No danger. Good time was had by all." Instead of, "I'm sure he's not THAT crazy." I better have him around for a few more nights like this before The Boston Strangler, BBB, Bobby Orr, Hot Carl, Drufus, and the rest of the killers are down here... but I digress.

Anyways, I promised I would post this picture on the internet, so here it is(of course I forgot to resize, so it's taking forever to upload):


YAY, chuggin sutter home! She's a gangsta ass ride or die biotch.

Oh, and this is Erika and I trying to look as angry as possible at the camera. I decided to put on my Bill face and I think it worked. The face I'm making is exactly the face Bill makes at me from the moment I start talking until I shut my fat mouth.


Go billface Go!

Day before insurance test.. predictions

OK, I'm going to pass, but not by a lot. I don't get to see my score because when you pass it just says pass. As per my pre tests, I'm at exactly a 70. Same as I was before the 7. I really think I know this stuff, but I'm still nervous. I can't even remember where the testing center is right now. I left Helder a message to call my stupid ass tomorrow morning and give directions.

I figured writting something up would make me feel better, so you get to read this mediocre post.

It's final. The Old Boys are back. We have enough of the old members to get back into it under the Old Boys name. We even picked up a few really good players to fill out our ranks. This is going to be a blast. I hope to have our first match played by sunday. You poor bastards are going to have to hear all about it because it will be a big deal for me. Oh, and fuck you for judging me. Yes, I am going to compete at rainbow six 3 again, and no, your pointing and laughing does nothing to me... besides hurt my feelings. I hope you feel like a big man now. You've hurt my feelings.

Anyways, I'm out.

First trip back

I went back to my parent's house yesterday to get a real dinner, some stuff I left behind, and to clean up my fish tanks. I decided it would be a good idea to wait and move the fish once I'm back from my 2 week trip to St. Louis. I have left them for up to a month at a time with a mechanical feeder, but Mao and Frank are getting older and I really dont' want to leave them unattended for too long.

My father was sleeping and I refused to let my mother wake him up to say hi. It's not like I'm so far away. I'll be around less than I thought, but more than once and a while... if that makes any sense. I had this wierd feeling driving up there. It felt like when I used to be driven out to see my grandmother when I was a little kid. Nice day, hour drive, parents. I felt like I was driving the family to see grandma and grandpa, but I have no kids... I have no girlfriend... WTF? I don't know if it's drving by The Land of Make Believe (children's amusment park we went to at least once a year when I was little) or the fact that I'm living on my own now, but for whatever reason, I was feeling pretty crummy when I got there. Then I realized how much shit I have to get done around here and wanted nothing but to get back as soon as possible. My mother does her best thinking when she's behind schedule and about to walk out the door, so of course as I'm carrying out the last of the things I want to bring to my apartment, she's heaping on more and more stuff she'd like to give to me. I am very thankful for everything, but I didn't wnat to deal with tying things down in the bed of my pickup and the cab was so full I KNEW that shit was going to fall and hit me from either the back seat or the passenger seat. I was feeling so stupid and emotional I wanted to just break down and cry in frustration because I felt alone for the first time in a long time and my plans were coming apart at the seams faster than I could blink. What were my plans? Get in, eat, grab the following: Extra linens for my bed, Blender, Protein/creatine, lamp, router/cables, pillows I left behind, and some dinner. I ended up with so much shit that all I could do was picture myself carrying that all in until some ungodly hour and getting all pissed off when I should have been studying for the insurance test I have coming up on friday. Add on top of that the unprovoked feeling that I should be bringing a family to see the grandparents (still no clue why) and all I wanted to do was sit on the floor and cover my face and just wait until all the bullshit went away like a fucking 3 year old.

I think the stress of these tests is getting to me. I am so relaxed and happy when I'm in my apartment, but there is just so much going on that it's hard to maintain this calm cool state all the time. I still haven't called someone that I promised myself I would... I'll get to that tonight maybe. Anyways, I'm so fucking happy right now, but there are just these random times that all I want to do is lay down, cover my head, and wait it out. It's like having a fucking emotional seisure once every few weeks. I didn't break down, I didn't get all outwardly emotional, but I felt so overwhelmed so quickly that it was scary.

OK, then. Enough of the psycho talk. I am back into the r6 scene again... this can only mean bad things, but if this is wrong, I dont' want to be right. I love playing rainbow six and I'm going to. If Team Old Boys resurfaces... uh, oh.

My living room furniture is being delivered on saturday. I can finally get this place looking like someone lives here. That also means I'll have no problem entertaining guests. My cousins Fil and Tony stopped by yesterday and there was only 2 seats. It looked like "Who's Line is it Anyway" when one person has to stand, one person has to sit, and one has to lay down the whole time. I can't wait to have a comfy lil place to relax with friends. I've wanted to show the place off ever since I moved in, but I feel like such a dork just having my recliner, TV and computer in the living room. No table in the dining room, no place to sit, no rug on my bare hardwood floors, nothing. Oh, and God help those losers at the delivery company if they put 1 FUCKING SCRATCH on that couch. Heads will roll.


Allright, I need to figure out how to cook the chicken legs I bought the other day. I've had a hankering for chicken for the past few days and when I was rummaging through my food they just looked so good. Time to make a call.

Later, geek

Boring Boring Boring!

I hate learning. Everyone who knows me knows that I couldn't wait for college to be over. I hate having homework. I hate having to pay attention for hours on end only to have my mind cleared by alcohol or blows to the head soon after. I hate when things get serious and you are on the verge of not passing. I hate being poor. Thus, I swore that I would not go to grad school. I told everyone who'd listen that I would never go back to school unless I was a teacher and had completed my alternate route certification and needed to get a few credits for a raise. That would be the only circumstance that would force me back into school... besides this one.

I have been doing nothing but studying/learning new shit for an average of 10 hours a day since Valentine's Day. This is the worst. I can't stand sitting and listening to rules and regulations. I can't stand having to take tests where my job hangs in the ballance every single week. I can't stand how every single topic is new and difficult. I can't stand insurance. But here I am. Dream job. Dream apartment. Dream life... but packed with hours and hours and hours of studying that trumps any bullshit I had to do in my 16 years of education. I went to Fairfield Universtity. FU likes to talk about how their one of the top business schools on the east coast and one of the finest liberal arts universities in the nation. I skated through college with little to no effot whatsoever. I know this because now that I am actually learning stuff that's applicable to my life it's actually hard with a chance of failure. Shit. I failed the 66. I don't fail anything. I've never failed anything I've tried at until now. I also have never had to learn so much in such a short period of time. If I was going to have to pass all the tests I have to pass now in college it would be at least a full year of class if not 2. So I have quite a few things left, but here's the list:

Series 7: Passed with a 78
Series 66: Failed with a 70 (approx. 1 question off)
NJ Health/Life insurance certification: Test on Friday
AAMS designation: Must complete before going back to St.Louis in June
Seris 66: Scheduled restest on the 26th (not sure of the date, I haven't been at my desk in 2 weeks.)

So there you have it. BORING TO THE MAX, YO. I love my job to death, but I can't take all this learning. I feel like my head is going to explode on a daily basis. I really need to buckle down and get ready for the insurance test, but I have had to really buckle down and get ready for one thing or another since Feb 14, so it stops affecting me as much as it used to.

Whatever.

I may have some of my writting published on another site today. I'll let you guys know if you should know. Otherwize... fuck off!

I couldn't go through a whole post without dropping and F bomb now could I?



Goodbye

Willis/Homer

The reason I started this blog to begin with was that I wanted to write a book. I felt like my writting was suffering because I never wrote and I wanted to document the stories of my life whilte their still fresh in my mind. That includes when I have a memory of my childhood that all of a sudden is clear. I had one of those moments yesterday and I have to document it here. As my life settles down expect more posts like this.

My father never called my by my first name until I graduated high school. He always called me either Willis/Willy or Homer. There was no reason to give me a nick name, my name is bizare enough. It's not like he would yell out "NJX70!" in a crowd and I wouldn't think he was talking to me. Also, this was from as early as I can remember, and seeing as I can remember my own birth, that means he was calling me by my nick names since 1980. There were no simpsons when he was calling me Homer. Willis/Willy... I have no idea why. I have no idea where those names came from either. I still want to answer anytime I hear either name because I was called Homer or Willy growing up more than I was called NJX70. I still remember being called NJX70 for the first time. It was on a fishing boat right before I graduated. I was done with school and had 3 days off before the actual ceremony. My dad took me out for blues off of Belmar, NJ. He called me NJX70 and I stopped and felt funny. It was then that I realized that I couldn't remeber ever hearing him say my name. I'm sure he did, but not in conversation. I don't know what he was thinking or why he did that, but there was an obvious switch from being called my "childhood" names and my "grownup" name that happened the day I was done with public school. All I want in life is to be the man my father is, and in a strange way, him not using my name until I was almost 19 years old and then doing a 180 and never calling me Willy or Homer again was special. I miss being called by my childhood nick names, but I wouldn't change any part of this story for the world.

OK, enough of that. Tonight I'm going down to Philadelphia. Let the speculation begin.

Just in case you were wondering...

I have been just sitting here raping the internet for all the information and fun I can get out of it for a long long time and I just realized it's 3:21AM and I still have to put my new bed frame back together. I also just realized that I had tentative plans for tomorrow afternoon that I will probably be too tired to innitiate due to my obsession with the stupid fucking internet... I'm going to bed(after I build it).

More details, my apartment, and balkakke

OK, here's the deal, ladies. I am going to see her again. When? I don't know. I really like her, but she is looking for things that I can't give right now. I don't know how I know this or why, but there is just something about how things progressed that is throwing flags in my head that I'm either me or her is in the wrong place. I'm not saying I'm not looking for a relationship... that would be a lie. I just sized up a lot of things and realized that I have to play the field a lil more. Let's just say it like this. If I'm not sure I want to date her, why waste her time? I do really like her, but something isn't right. I can't put my finger on it, but I don't think I'm going to push it with this one.

See, look what you made me do. I didn't want to say a word about this because I really like her, but I'm just not sure of where I want it to go, so I'm going to let it slide for a while and just lay low until I have my mind made up. It's wierd being matched up with someone before you meet them. I do get a kick out of her, but there are just some things that don't match up, and now I have a cool chick out there that I simply have to keep in first gear.

Anyways... you made me break my cardinal rule. Never talk about any current relationships. I just think that I gave the wrong signals. I did have a nice time with her. She is a great girl. I do want to see her again, but I just don't want to do it right now because I'm not sure she is what I'm looking for.

Look at that, another paragraph... fuck you guys.

So I moved into my apartment on sunday. I love it. I just dropped 2Gs on some furnature... and by some furnature I mean a sectional couch. One fucking couch. WTF is up with the prices? I couldn't find a set for that price, and that couch has a ton of cool features, so I'm getting it delivered on the 21st. One side is 2 recliners (with built in massage that the woman called "vibrators" right before her face went 100% red) and the other side is a queen sized pull out bed. Perfect. So now I only have to get a kitchen table and chairs. I could use some other bullshit like tables and a rug, but I'm going to lay low on the spending. These bills are piling up fast.

So I was driving around after class the other day and I realized that I'm close to everwhere. I am less than an hour from NYC. I am 15 minutes from Roxbury. 15 minutes from Brad's place. 20 minutes from the rockaway mall. 30 minutes from Wayne (and a ton of big department stores in case I need anything). Awesome. I forgot how it feels to be in the center of it all. I missed this like I can't even say. If I need something, I just go out and get it and come back to da crib in no more than an hour. Awesomeo 4000. I still don't have anywhere for anyone to sit besides the shitty office chair I'm sitting in now and my big ol ratty ass recliner (that I'll probably die of old age sitting in one day). I now have IO digital cable, optimum online, and optimum voice (unlimited calls to the US and Canada, eh). I am so happy, now I just have to figure out how to take advantage of my location. Plenty of bars in town, but it's been so long since I made plans to do anything that I don't know what to do. I guess I'll figure it out. Until then I'll be working on my featherweight champion in Fight Night: Round 2. He's a killer... and I'm a nerd.

So I've been talking to another fine young woman on eharmony, so this site is pretty cool. I kinda made plans for tomorrow with her. By kinda, I mean right before I said goodbye on the phone I was like, "Oh, and by the way, if you don't have anything to do, save a few minutes for me on saturday." What a pussy ass coward line. It was mostly because I didn't know what my plans were going to be, but who am I kidding? I don't have shit to do.

Speaking of, it's time to put this internet through it's paces and try to get out of the apartment. Later, biotches.

I can see my house from here!

ahhhhhhh! It's good to be back. First, let me post what I wrote offline a few days ago and I'll come back with another post later.

I am going through internet withdrawal, so I decided I’d write a post on word and save it until I get my shit hooked up here in da new crib. So much is happening right now. I have been busy as hell every night trying to get myself situated, but the more I get done, the more I realize I have left to do. I have to give a shout out to Brad for being a huge help. Not only did he help me move in for 11 hours on Sunday, but he agreed to tag along for a furniture shopping spree today. I saw an add in the Sunday paper from Target that showed a bunch of cheap couches and shit, so I decided that we’d hit Target tonight. I don’t know if I was looking at the wrong add or if that Target just sucked ass, but there was nothing there. I did get a ton of shit that I really needed. I now have a microwave, lamp for the living room, coffee maker, pots and pans, glasses, and a ton of other stupid lil bullshit items. Walking through the aisles was rough because every single aisle had more shit that I needed. It’s not until you move out for good that you realize how little you really have. My living room is just my stupid desk, my chair, and my TV. I was counting on some people coming up huge with furniture, but so far every one of my sources is tapped out. I still have to hit up my grandmother and see what she has laying around, but for now it’s looking like I am actually going to have to hit a real furniture store and actually buy a real living room set.

I ran over to the office today during my lunch break from insurance licensing school to pick up my monthly paycheck and to deposit said paycheck in the bank. I felt so at home in the office. I actually am excited to be back at the ol desk. Unfortunately I have insurance class through next Tuesday and my health/life test next Friday, so I won’t be back in the office until Wednesday of next week and I shant be going in on Thursday with a test on the horizon. I feel like part of the family at AG Edwards now. I missed seeing everyone and I really wanted to stay and chat with people, but I was on a tight schedule and had to run out as fast as I ran in. It also reminded me how important it is for me to stay on top of my series 66 material. I’ve been so wrapped up in everything else going on around me that I haven’t picked up my books since I was in St. Louis. I still have a couple of weeks to get ready, but I want to go in there knowing I’ll score no lower than a 90% because this is my only shot to pass it now.

Enough of that negative shit. Now for the real amazing news from this week. I’m going on my third night in my OWN place and the feeling of total relaxation cannot be overstated. I come home, I whip something up to eat, I work on the apartment a bit, I listen to music, and I’m in bed. I wake up at 7, shower, eat, have a cup of coffee at my leisure, and saunter out of the building. I am only 20 minutes from class and it feels amazing. I can only imagine how crazy it’s going to be when I’m back at AGE. I test drove to my apartment from the office during the day just to see how long it will be when there are people on the road. I went from standing in my office to parked in my parking spot in 6 minutes. The only reason it took that long was because I hit ever single light. I don’t know, but I think that some of this feeling of freedom comes from the fact that I am now living by my own rules. I have nothing but love for my parents. They are the best. They never tried to give me any shit about any stupid thing I’ve decided to do. I have no “breaking free of the chains that bind” feeling at all, but the fact that I can roll in whenever the hell I want and not worry about waking up the dog or that I can rock out at volumes that make my ears bleed without worrying about waking anyone up. [lil side note: I never could play anything loud in my house at any time of the day. My father sleeps during the day, and my mother sleeps at night, so I was always on constant “courtesy” mode]. I do miss being able to come home and find a fridge full of all sorts of food, but I’ll get there. I am going to miss my family, but the feeling I have right now is simply amazing. I feel like Peter in Office Space. I have nothing to weigh me down. Work is going to be the busiest I’ve ever been for the next 5 weeks, I’m dealing with my issues, trying to be a lil social butterfly, and breaking in the new place all at once, but I couldn’t be any happier or feel any more relaxed. I dropped just about half a paycheck today on rent and gear. Do I feel bad about that? No. Am I getting very concerned about money? Yes. Does that make me feel any less relaxed? No. I’m just happy to be alive. All I’m going to need now is to make this living room look like a living room and I’ll be all set. Biggest problem I’m having with being disconnected from the internet is lack of information. I would really like to be able to get in touch with the utility companies that will be supplying my sweet sweet internet, phone, and digital cable… so what do I do? Freak out and drive to Brad’s house to look it up there. I would love to know my exact balance in my checking account, but I’ve been crippled by the internet. Instead of having a tangible solution like billions of people did (including myself) before the internet was available I just do without and hope the world will still be round when I get plugged back into the matrix. I have also lost about 50% of my writing ability from this break. Nothing I write feels like it fits.

Well, it’s getting late, so I’m gone. I hope that you are reading this on Friday afternoon, but for my records, this post was finished on Wednesday, May 11 at 12:22 AM.

If you are reading this on Friday, that means I found someone to let the cable guy into my apartment. I don’t know why, but I figure out more stupid solutions to stupid problems writing for this stupid blog than I do pondering for hours whilst doing other things. I’m going to call my landlord and see if one of them can let the dude into my apartment! If that won’t work, I’m just about tapped out of ideas. The time is between 11am and 2pm on Friday, so I tried every college kid I know and none of them are able to help a brother out. My sister is going back to college for summer session, Fil is going to Boston to see Nine Inch Nails (he’s so gay for NIN), Brad’s lil sister is gone, even Tony isn’t available. Everyone else I know either has a job or is too far away to take a ride and sit for a few hours to wait and let in the cable guy. My last resort will be asking at the office if one of my homies can drive over and let them in when I get the call that they are coming. Like I said, I’m 6 minutes away from my job, so if one of them wants to be a peach, that could solve the problem as well.

OK, now I’m really gone. Goodbye

More Personality bullshit tests...

Back one night and look at me... filling out useless crap I find and posting the results here. I am impressed by both of these. I think the second quiz really summed me up. See what you think.

Your Birthdate: December 1

Your birthday suggests that are executive ability and leadership qualities in your makeup. A birthday on day 1 of any month gives a measure of will power and self-confidence, and very often a rather original approach. This 1 energy may diminish your ability and desire to handle details, preferring instead to paint with a broad brush. You may be sensitive, but your feelings stay rather repressed.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Your #1 Match: ESTP

The Doer You are adventurous and risk taking. You act first, think second. You love being the center of attention. Chances are you were the class clown. Competitive, charming, and charasmatic - you have your own code of honor. You live a flexible life, bouncing between a series of activies that interest you. You would make a great salesperson, marketing director, or entrepreneur.

Your #2 Match: ENTP

The Visionary You are charming, outgoing, friendly. You make a good first impression. You possess good negotiating skills and can convince anyone of anything. Happy to be the center of attention, you love to tell stories and show off. You're very clever, but not disciplined enough to do well in structured environments. You would make a great entrpreneur, marketing executive, or actor.

Your #3 Match: ESFP

The Performer You are a natural performer and happiest when you're entertaining others. A great friend, you are generous, fun-loving and optimistic. You love to laugh - and you like almost all people equally. You accept life as it is, and you do your best to make each day fantastic. You would make a good actor, designer, or counselor.

Your #4 Match: ISTP

The Mechanic You are calm and collected, even in the most difficult of situations. A person of action and self-direction, you love being independent. To outsiders yous eem impulsive, surprising, and unpredictable. You are good at understanding how all things work, except for people. You would make an excellent pilot, forensic pathologist, or athlete.

Your #5 Match: ENFP

The Inspirer You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends. You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules. Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives. You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller! You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

What's Your Personality Type?

Just flew in from St.Louis...

and boy are my arms tired.

But seriously folks... a horse walks into a bar, bartender says, "why the long face?" Horse orders a beer and the bartender says, "We don't get many horses in this here bar... that'll be $15.75" To which the horse replies, "At these prices, you won't see many more."

I'll be here all week. Try the veal, and be sure to tip your waitress.


Allright, enough of the plesantries. I'm back from St.Louis. I have a lot to talk about, but let's start with my date. I will not say her name. I will give no details. I may be an asshole and I may not give two shits what anyone has to say about me, but I have respect. I will call her Rutgers. I had a wonderful time. We had a great diner and saw Sin City. Afterwards we hung out and watched some tv and I ended up leaving mad late. We have a lot in common and I hope to see her again soon. I think it was a victory for me because I realize there are people out there that I will have a great time with. That's all you get.

My trip to AGE headquarters started out on a rocky note. I missed my plane on sunday. I thought my flight was at 5PM and it was at 1:20PM. I made it there just in time to hear them call for final boarding as I was checking my bags. I got on the 4PM flight and made it to STL with plenty of time to check in. I didn't have to be anywhere for AGE until 8 the next morning. Only problem? I didn't bring a single tie. Thank God for Helder. He lent me a tie under the idea that I was going to buy some and give it back... I wore it all week.

I also wore the lapel pin I received from CEO of AG Edwards, Bob Bagby himself. I proved to myself that I'm going to do allright in this business when I was the only one to actually carry on a conversation with him for more than a passing comment. He said something like, "Well, I guess if they say no to your investment ideas you can just rough em up, can't you, son?" "Well, sir, I don't think I'll wait and let them say no. I normally just rough em up at the get go." He laughed and we chatted. I wish I had the balls to whip out my camera in his office. He has the office you picture when you think of where a CEO goes to get his work done. All decked out in african bronzes and artifacts from throughout history. His favorite is a tusk from a wooly mamoth that has a story carved into it by prehistoric man. "Holy fucking shit" is all that was going through my head the whole time. Amazing.

I am going to touch on some things quickly because I really don't want this post getting out of controll. I did fine with everything I had to learn. It got hard to pay attention from 8 to 6 every single day due to the fact that every single topic was introduced in a 4 hour mind rape that started at 8am and was given by a different investment nerd every morning. The afternoons were fun because we'd get into our "breakout groups" and talk about things in normal human words with a sales trainer instead of an investment geek. I feel like I can handle a Bill beat down now. They taught me how to actually go through an investment reccomendation in a neat and orderly fashion. I think I see why Bill was beating me up, I had no fucking clue how to sell. I don't lie to myself. I know I still suck, but at least I know which direction to move now.

I met a lot of really cool guys, but one common thread that made me a tad uncomfortable was that a lot of them were my age, but they were all married and most of them had at least 2 kids. I know that the midwest does things differently, but when you see guys in your shoes doing things the way you had them planned it gives you a creepy feeling. I don't know what that feeling is exactly, but they were all very happy, they'd call their wives and give "I love yous" to their kids every night after class. I guess it made me feel like I had failed, but how can I say that? I have the opportunity of a lifetime. I have all the time in the world to get my business together and make some serious paper before I'm spending it all on biotches and diapers.

I have a ton of pictures, so I decided to put them up on my webshots page instead of flickr. I will get them to flickr eventually, but for now, I don't feel like editing them down to a reasonable size, so they are on webshots. Here's the link: http://community.webshots.com/user/byobkenobi

If you want, you could just click the title of this post... but which one of you idiots is going to figure that shit out first? I certainly wouldn't.

Anyways, I'm done. I have a lot to do. I'll get back to this again tomorrow at some point... hopefully.

Off to St.Louis

I just checked my flight confirmation and I'm leaving at 1:30PM... not 5:30PM, so this will be my last post before I leave. I hope to find a computer to use at least once during the week, so keep checking back, but for now, I think this will be the last one for a week. I am planning on taking notes so I can remember everything I want to talk about, but I'm lazy, so who knows.

I had a nice time last night.

Sin City rules. It's not one of the greatest films of all time, but it definately is the closest you're ever going to get to picking up a comic book as you're going to get at a movie theater. Mickey Rourke is now my favorite actor. His portrayal of Marv was awesome. He's such a badass. The only criticism this movie gets is that it's characters are all one sided and stereotypical... so what? Does that make you feel smarter to say stuff like that? Did you not enjoy the movie because the good old cop does good old cop things? I sure enjoyed it. I didn't like how a lot of the characters' stories ended, but I've never been one for endings. Also, who would have seen the hobbit as a badass evil guy? He really is a creep in this one.

OK, enough is enough. I'm gone. I'm off to go infect the home office.