Booya

I have been complaining a lot about things going on in my life. I am opening a store, what do I really expect? To coast through it? I am getting what any small business owner gets, but I don't have to sign the checks. That gives me a bit of a lack of appreciation for the money that has been changing hands, but other than that, I am the little guy starting out and having to coordinate EVERYTHING on my own. The past two days have been long and frustrating, but I am going to sum them up VERY quickly and move on.

Yesterday:

Joe G couldn't make it to meet/train my employees so I had to burn two hours until Joe M got there to do his sprint training. Joe M did a great job and gave me some promotional material.

I installed extra locks on all cabinets in the store. Now I don't have to carry all the phones back and forth like was originally planned.

Kevin from L&L electric didn't think I was still at the store at 8pm so he didn't show up to set up the job. I was at the store until 9pm. Why don't people just call my cell phone? I am available to answer calls every second of my life and always have my phone charged and on. Power and internet moved back at least one day.

I shopped for my friend Brad's birthday and so I could get some ideas for everyone else on my list while I was waiting at the mall for L&L. I bought Brad a book called The Encyclopedia of Handheld Weapons and a video game controller that has 200 old school 8 bit Nintendo games built in. He and I play several different simulation war games together on Xbox Live and all the weapons we've used in digital form are in the book, so I thought that was a decent gift. It only cost $8 and I knew I'd have to get him something else, so I bought the video game thing that I really was excited to give him.

Today:

Drove out to the mall at about 8am to buy and finish entailing the last 2 hasps (locks).

Drove 80 something miles back to Fairview meet with Joe to get a router, a check for rent, and some paper.

Went from Fairview to load to get phones and accessories. I was on autopilot and forgot to go to Lodi at first. I was half way back to PA when I realized that I am a dumbass. I added a good hour to my travel time because my brain was on screen saver. Mike gave me a refresher course on the register software and taught me how to enter items into inventory. I picked up what I needed and was off to PA.

By this time afternoon traffic had begun and HARD! I was stuck for hours in stop and go, bumper to bumper, bullshit traffic. I had planned to go out to PA, lock everything up and then stop by Brad's to give him his gift and have dinner with his family. I ended up not even making it to Randolph until almost 8pm.

I gave Brad his gift and as it turns out his girlfriend had given him the same thing only better a few hours before I got there. I feel like such a loser. I know that stuff like that happens, but after he got me such a thoughtful and amazing gift for my birthday I blatantly struck out on his gift. I can't even think of something better than a fucking 8bit video game for my best friend. What a fucking stupid, unoriginal, ass. He did like the book, and I know he likes to read books on war and the like, but I really shelled out some cash for that stupid game and he already had a version that was better. I won't beat myself up over this, but I actually got word from his girlfriend via my girlfriend that he wanted something and I didn't get it because I thought it was "unoriginal and not very thoughtful" to go by a recommendation. I have been hitting homeruns with gifts for the past few years. In fact, I've been averaging 2 people crying in joy a year for the past 2 years. This year looks like it's going to be like the upcoming MLB post steroid slump.

Here are some examples of how well I've been doing with gifts aka how I've set myself up for failure:

My grandmother lives in the house my mom and her sisters grew up in. The house burnt down a long time ago and everything from my mother's life was destroyed including her high school year book. I went out with a girl named Bekki who's father went to school with my mother. I got his yearbook and had it copied and bound like a yearbook and gave it to her for christmas. She actually put down the camera and just cried and cried while looking through something she never thought she'd see again. (Isaac 1 bad gifts 0)

For our first Christmas 4 years ago I had a star named after my girlfriend and gave her a star necklace. It sounds corny and stupid, but it was more than just a nice gesture. I am from New Jersey and she is from Colorado. We met in college right before our freshman summer and I knew she was special. The time we spent apart over the summer was as painful as a summer can be when you've only known someone for a few weeks and fallen in love, but I knew I loved her from when I first saw her and I REALLY missed her like mad from the moment she got on the shuttle for the airport. When she opened it I explained, "I did this for you because even though we are so far apart for such long periods of time we can always look up and see the same stars." I know it's a rip off of some disney movie, but I REALLY still think of her when I see the stars especially when we can't be together. Nowadays we are both working and even though she lives in NJ now it is very hard for us to see each other more than a few times a month. I still find peace looking at the stars. She cried. (Isaac 2, Bad Gifts 0)

My grandmother loves the Yankees more than anyone else on Earth. She talks about them like they're family and really feels joy when they win and pain when they lose. She can tell you all about the team from the days when she would listen on the radio to today when she watches insane hours of Yankee TV on the YES network. Every year she gets Yankee stuff from one grandchild or another, but I really wanted to get her something she'd really like. I went out and got her a yankees dugout jacket. My grandmother owns more clothes than any 3 people should ever own including many jackets in all styles and colors. I heard her admire the dark blue jackets the team had one day when we were watching a game together and realized she'd probably love one of her own. When she opened the gift, tears and pride. She takes such still brags about that jacket to all her friends and has worn it every time it's been cold for the past 4 years. (Isaac 3, Bad Gifts 0)

2 years ago, Beth (my girlfriend... happy, annie?) was joking about Christmas gifts and said she'd love diamond earings. I am a man of little money, but I got a great deal on a set that included diamond earings and a diamond necklace. She never thought I'd actually get them and was absoluetly shocked when she opened the box. She loves them to this day. (Isaac 4, BG 0)

I have a cousin named Tony who is mentally handicapped. He turned 18 right before last Christmas and was really enjoying the fact that he was an adult. I didn't want to buy him toys or movies like most people would get him. He does enjoy collecting certain figures and stuff, but he is at that point developmentally where even though he likes them, getting toys for presents feels funny. I decided I'd try to help him feel grown up and bought him a little swiss army knife. I sat him down and explained to him how important it is to be very careful with it and how it's not a toy or a weapon and that he can use it for anything he'd like as long as he's very careful and understands that it's very sharp and very dangerous when used incorrectly. He was so excited that I think he wore out his fingernails opening and closing the blade, scissors, screwdriver, etc for the rest of the night. He couldn't find enough paper and boxes to cut. Of course, as every kid does with their first knife, he ended up cutting himself before the night was over. That is not because he is handicapped. I did the same thing with my first knife. You don't know if it's sharp or not and want to touch it to find out. Every single man who received a pocket knife as a kid can remember cutting themselves one day doing something stupid or just trying to see how sharp it really was. It was such a minor little scratch, but even though he had to ask his mom and dad a hundred times if it was OK to carry it in his pocket like me and my father carry pocket knives, he now keeps in on his shelf in his room. I think it spooks him a bit, but he is very VERY proud that he owns it. (Isaac 5, BG 0)

I almost forgot another great one. My freshman year I was going out with a girl from Boston and that is where my aweful curse of having to give really cool gifts started. I was head over heels for this chick and really wanted something special. She was the first girl I was remotely serious with after Kelly and she was the polar opposite of what I was used to. She's a long story I'm not going into tonight, but she was really a great girlfriend until one day she just dumped my ass and then a week later begged for me to come back to her. I went back and everything just went to shit until I finally broke it off a few months later. I digress. Everything was awesome and I was going to go up to Boston to meet her parents and give her her Christmas present. My good friend and longtime college roommate Cpt Redface is from Yonkers and knew of a really good jewler in town called DiErriko's (not even close on the spelling, that is basically how it sounds). I was at his place and we decided to stop in while we were doing some shopping. I picked out an original gold necklace designed in house that had a semi-precious stone called labradorite every few inches. That stone is cool because when it's in the light it throws a whole rainbow of colors but when you look at it it just looks clear. They only made a necklace and a bracelet out of the stone before they ran out. It was a true "one of a kind" and exactly what I wanted for my girl. I brought it up to her and she was spechless. (Isaac 6, BG 0)

I could go on, but let's just tally up the score after today: Isaac 6, Bad Gifts 1. I really hope I can do better for Christmas and bounce back from this disaster.

Tomorrow:

Sometime before 10AM I'll roll on into the Stroud Mall and begin selling phones for real. Let's hope I clear out all the phones I have on me and end up a huge success. Even if I only activate one a day for the first few weeks I'll feel somewhat better even though we have to activate so many more to actually be successful.

I am distracted by multiple AIMs and my exhaustion. There are many things I can't wait to talk about, but as always, I've been distracted. I do have to say why I named this post Booya. koWALA IMed me today and told me that he had a video I had to see. I accepted the transfer of a file named "booya" and figured it was some sports blooper. What it was was a porno where a black dude had his balls jammed in a white chick's ass while he was banging her. He pulls out his wang, you realize his balls are in her ass, he pulls them out and yells "booya!" I hate that I laughed at it. It is one of the worst videos ever, but koWALA is the Worst Person Ever, so I can expect no less. It was like a trainwreck. I had no clue what I was opening and by the time I realized it was too late. I had to watch all 15 seconds. I belive my place in hell was bumped down another level closer to be chewed on by satin for all of eternity for laughing, but I had no choice. In a sick and twisted way it was fucking hilarious.

Now that I've lost all my female readers' respect, I'm going to bed. BOOYA!