MasterBait and Liquor

I have had enough of being negative. I've been going back and forth between being frustrated and being happy for too long. Plus, who can be sour when you find a sweet sign like the one above? That's what I thought too. I've been writing a little bit on the side, and I got so dark recently that the editor of the site stopped replying back to me. I've just been in a wierd place. I'm so happy, then all of a sudden I get these waves of sadness that just roll in and roll out. It's almost like a mini panic attack that is very mild and very pointless. It's not even a big deal, but it's just strange when I'm sitting in my truck listening to tunes and WHAM! Sad. No particular reason. I don't have one specific thing on my mind, I just get sad. I guess it's part of life, but it's strange.

So this is what it's like to have a long weekend? I had a good time, but as is always the case with me, I think I could have done better. Friday was one of the finest days I've been lucky enough to experience, but then the weekend was on cruise controll for 2 days. I did have a great time, but when I have a good time and the weekend is quiet I always feel I could have stepped it up and done something crazy.

Yesterday was my grandmother's 87th birthday party. She's turning 87 tomorrow and she cooked for and threw a party for herself. She's amazing. I hope to be that healthy at 40. My oldest cousin, Anthony, just got a job in the same industry as I am in, so it's strange. We grew up so different, yet we ended up in the same career. It makes me wonder if some of that shit's in your genes.

Today I went to my cousin Phil's house for a BBQ. Another great eating day. I sat and ate from about 2 this afternoon until about 20 minutes ago. I've lost between 30 and 40lbs since I realized I didn't have to keep the weight on anymore for football, and I think I gained it all back in steak, pork, hamburgers, hotdogs, blueberry pie, and cookies. I don't think my stomach will ever be the same. It was an extreme change from the chicken and egg whites I've been eating recently.

I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I decided I'm going to stop thinking for a while.

and on that note: