Christmas Eve and 42 Year Olds
Today is Christmas Eve. You would have no idea of that fact if you were in my apartment unless you could get under my headphones and realize I’m listening to Christmas music… at least I was until a buddy started sending me mp3s to check out. I’ve already done my annual wrap up, and I’m due for my last week of the year reevaluation of where I’m going, but that’s neither here nor there.
So, what to post about… well… let’s start with what I have planned for today. I am going over my aunt’s house for the best meal of the year. I’m half Italian contrary to popular belief, and on Christmas Eve you eat 7 fish to bring a year of luck or some shit. I eat 7 fish because they are delicious. It always starts with a shock and awe campaign against about a million shrimp. From there, it’s anyone’s guess, but the bunker buster of the night is always the crab legs. Tray after tray after tray after tray of crab legs will be carried out. I will burn my fingers and stab myself on the points, but I will eat as many as I can shove into my face. Meanwhile, on separate fronts we’ll be attacking the national supply of clams, muscles, cod, squid, etc. It’s an all out slaughterfest and I love it. I’m sobering up and getting ready to fly over the target.
That brings me to why I’m sobering up. Last night Little Dawggg and Brad came out. We hit The Office and drank like maniacs. I ran into people I knew and had a great time. We decided to stop by another bar and didn’t realize that everyone in the tri state area was in Morristown last night. Every single bar had a 50 person line outside. On top of that, the bar we were trying to get into (The Dark Horse) had a MIDGET SANTA picking people out of line to go in. Basically, if you had a penis, you were going to wait outside forever. If you didn’t, then you were going right in. I guess that’s good for the ratio IN the bar, but waiting outside is for the birds. So at that point I called phil and asked him where he was and he was at the Cluck U on the way to the dive bar we were going to try before just coming back and drinking at my place. We ran over and got him and his friends and ran over to our last shot at drinking. Low and behold… this bar is a dive with dive prices. Awesome. We have a few more drinks and Little Dawggg starts working his magic on a 42 year old woman. One thing leads to another and she’s back at my apartment with us. I got tired of her stupid ass here so I called a friend who lives by her and had him pick her drunk ass up. The only thing she did here was piss me off, but it was hilarious that Little Dawggg got her to come back with us.
LD is probably one of the funniest mother fuckers to have at a bar. He says the stupidest shit to girls and they love it. So the whole night we just drink and he stops girls and says stuff like, “I LOVE THAT JACKET IT’S SO FUCKING SPARKLY” and they stop and either entertain him for a few minutes or laugh it off. He’ll turn and say something along the lines of “that chick wants to FUCK me” and then go back to saying stupid shit. I love it. The only problem is that when you ask him to do a shot and say you’re buying it he orders fucking makers mark which is the same shit as Jack Daniels only 10X the price.
I don’t know what wires crossed in Brad’s head, but he came out. It normally takes an act of God to get his ass to a bar and this time it was relatively easy. I just let him know we were going out and asked him what he was up to. He agreed and drove out. I was shocked and appalled. Hopefully I can drag him out more often now that he’s gone out with all of us once.
One thing I have to mention is that we’re assembling a fighting force of extra ordinary magnitude. Phil and his friends plus me and my friends equals a mighty army worthy of drinking many beers. It’s awesome to see things work out like this. Every weekend there are more soldiers to take to battle and we have more fun. Good times in the future.
So, what to post about… well… let’s start with what I have planned for today. I am going over my aunt’s house for the best meal of the year. I’m half Italian contrary to popular belief, and on Christmas Eve you eat 7 fish to bring a year of luck or some shit. I eat 7 fish because they are delicious. It always starts with a shock and awe campaign against about a million shrimp. From there, it’s anyone’s guess, but the bunker buster of the night is always the crab legs. Tray after tray after tray after tray of crab legs will be carried out. I will burn my fingers and stab myself on the points, but I will eat as many as I can shove into my face. Meanwhile, on separate fronts we’ll be attacking the national supply of clams, muscles, cod, squid, etc. It’s an all out slaughterfest and I love it. I’m sobering up and getting ready to fly over the target.
That brings me to why I’m sobering up. Last night Little Dawggg and Brad came out. We hit The Office and drank like maniacs. I ran into people I knew and had a great time. We decided to stop by another bar and didn’t realize that everyone in the tri state area was in Morristown last night. Every single bar had a 50 person line outside. On top of that, the bar we were trying to get into (The Dark Horse) had a MIDGET SANTA picking people out of line to go in. Basically, if you had a penis, you were going to wait outside forever. If you didn’t, then you were going right in. I guess that’s good for the ratio IN the bar, but waiting outside is for the birds. So at that point I called phil and asked him where he was and he was at the Cluck U on the way to the dive bar we were going to try before just coming back and drinking at my place. We ran over and got him and his friends and ran over to our last shot at drinking. Low and behold… this bar is a dive with dive prices. Awesome. We have a few more drinks and Little Dawggg starts working his magic on a 42 year old woman. One thing leads to another and she’s back at my apartment with us. I got tired of her stupid ass here so I called a friend who lives by her and had him pick her drunk ass up. The only thing she did here was piss me off, but it was hilarious that Little Dawggg got her to come back with us.
LD is probably one of the funniest mother fuckers to have at a bar. He says the stupidest shit to girls and they love it. So the whole night we just drink and he stops girls and says stuff like, “I LOVE THAT JACKET IT’S SO FUCKING SPARKLY” and they stop and either entertain him for a few minutes or laugh it off. He’ll turn and say something along the lines of “that chick wants to FUCK me” and then go back to saying stupid shit. I love it. The only problem is that when you ask him to do a shot and say you’re buying it he orders fucking makers mark which is the same shit as Jack Daniels only 10X the price.
I don’t know what wires crossed in Brad’s head, but he came out. It normally takes an act of God to get his ass to a bar and this time it was relatively easy. I just let him know we were going out and asked him what he was up to. He agreed and drove out. I was shocked and appalled. Hopefully I can drag him out more often now that he’s gone out with all of us once.
One thing I have to mention is that we’re assembling a fighting force of extra ordinary magnitude. Phil and his friends plus me and my friends equals a mighty army worthy of drinking many beers. It’s awesome to see things work out like this. Every weekend there are more soldiers to take to battle and we have more fun. Good times in the future.
posted by NJX70 at 1:41 PM
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