Field Report

Paintball rocked. It rocked so hard that I fell asleep on the couch at about 10:30, woke up to a phone call at around midnight, got to the computer and wanted to write SOMETHING and fell asleep again. Today I was worthless at work. I don't even know what I did all day. I was so tired all day from the abuse I volunteered for on Sunday that I was a jelly fish sitting at a desk. Here's how the day went down:

0600 - Alarm goes off
0700 - I wake up with alarm blaring, wake up Mike, drink coffee
0730 - Arrived at Brad's place to pick him up... but no answer... he was still sleeping.
0800 - Finally wake Brad up and get going
0930 - Arrive at Skirmish USA
1000 - Get served the first of many times
1800 - Leave Skirmish USA, hit china buffet, go home

When we got to skirmish it looked like an army staging area with teams of people of all ages (I'm talking 9 year olds to 60 year olds) wearing full camo, guns of all shapes and sizes, cases of paint flying around, people gearing up, etc. It was actually a bit intimidating. We step up and get our reservation finalized and they assign us table C. Table C was empty, so we figured it was just a good place to get our shit together before we rolled out... then the rest of our team started filtering in... After about another 10 minutes it was Mike, Brad, me, and a team of Asian chicks (with a couple asian dudes and one white kid). We watched the serious players get matched up with other serious teams and they got on the busses. Now it was just C company and one other table. The other table was all young guys, about our age and two chicks. A dude comes over in a ref uniform and starts taping up our arms with colors. Charlie Company got orange tape, Alpha Company got green... green fucking tape on green fucking uniforms... how is that fair? It really didn't matter because you could tell who was shooting at you and who wasn't, but it just seemed funny. So we get on the bus and roll out for our first game. We pick up our gun, mask, and belt pack and head over to the rest area. I couldn't help but think we were finished because our team just looked a little less... how do I say this... good at paintball. Boy was I 100% correct.

Round 1: CAPTURE THE FLAG CLASSIC: Whistle blows, I sprint 40 yards to a stack of tires and drop down for cover, Brad goes right, Mike goes far left. I start seeing motion and put some shots down range. It was hard to see if you hit anyone, so when you did get a kill you just kept shooting until their hands went up. I hit at least 2 people, but I will get into reasons why I don't know if they were kills or not later. I see 4 moving right to left and I shoot the dog shit out of them. Mike does the same. I call it out and Mike's all over them. Then I take a shot to my face under my mask. First paintball to ever hit me hits me in the jaw UNDER my mask. Then I take about 10 more shots to my left side as I'm fumbling for my barrel plug signifying I'm out. Dissapointing round, but it was my first and it was fun as shit, so it was cool. I walk to the dead zone and see the other team working very well together and just figure my team was behind me doing the same. As it turns out... they were all in the dead zone way before I was. They all walked out like they were walking the streets on patrol and got shredded to ribbons before the round was 30 seconds old. They didn't even look for cover. The other team was laying down covering fire before moving, working in squads, etc and fucking destroyed us. I wrote it off as just my first game and moved on.

Round 2: CTF CLASSIC (FLAG SWITCH) - This round started on opposite sides as the last one. I knew my team was going to be decimated, so I tried to get to cover behind a tank and just hold them off... unfortunately, I was one of 7 people behind that tank because the other people that were on our team were following the three of us around because they had no clue what was going on. So this round lasted the full time. I layed down some serious serious fire. I know for a FACT I hit at least 4 people this round, but if they don't break they don't count, if they wipe the paint off before a ref sees it, it doesn't count, if they just keep shooting and disregard the shot, then it doesn't count. So I blow through 3 clips of paint and am not even sure what I hit. Ref calls 3 minutes left, so I decide it's time to make something happen. Brad and this little dude were sitting with me behind the tank and I told them, "guys, we got to make something happen. I'm going to lay down covering fire, little guy, stay deep and get behind something. When you get there, start shooting and we'll follow and move up to the middle." He replies, "I can't... I'll get hit." and Brad says, "FUCK IT LET'S GO!!!" By this time ref yells "2 MINUTES!" and I'm like, "fuck it, on 3... 1, 2, 3!" and run out guns blazing. I made it all the way to where I wanted to get to and was down on the ground behind the tires that I thought were safe. As it turns out, tires are round, and you can shoot someone behind a stack of tires from basically any 45 degree angle. I got ripped to pieces 1 second after I got there. It was just enough time for me to feel good about getting there. That sprint damn near killed me. It's 100 X harder to run in the woods with a gun than it is to run on a football field. On a field you can just run and keep an eye on the target. In the woods you are watching where your feet are going to land, you are firing at unfriendlies to keep their heads down, and you are constantly looking from side to side for anyone you didn't expect to see. I was so mad after that round. I blew through my paint, didn't confirm a kill (I know I hit those fuckers) and we lost the round.

Round 3 and 4: 1 FLAG CTF - This field was small as shit. It looked like Training for you RS3 fans. There was a flag in the middle and both teams were trying to take that flag into the OTHER team's base. 2 more guys joined our party that knew what the hell they were doing, and this is the only time I was disapointed in my personal performance. We dropped prone to the left of the field and I fired some suppressing fire for him to move up, but when he did it for me, I balked and lost my angle. He got eliminated, then I got into a fucked up situation. I saw a guy run to my left and cut him down. His buddy layed down fire at me and forced me to put my head down. The guy I hit at least 5 times then stands up over the hill I was laying down on and fires about 10 shots at my fucking head from about 10 feet away. first two hit and I put my hand in my pocket for my plug... then a few more shots came. I couldn't pick my head up because paint was flying like crazy over my head and this guy was just plugging the fucking dogshit out of me. I put my hands over my head and he kept shooting. The whole time I'm calling that i"m out and trying to show that I dont' even have my gun in my hands. I took 2 or 3 right on top of my head and then put my hands up and took a few more to my hands before he finally stopped. He thought it was funny, I confronted him and told him it was fucked up. I should have stood up and gave him a mouthful of CO2 tank, but I just walked off pissed off. After that we ended up hanging out with the other team and the fucked up multi shot kills after you clearly hit someone in the fucking face stopped. I'm getting mad typing this, but they ended up being real cool guys. I'm going to shoot them an email after I'm done with this actually. Oh, and we lost the round.

Round 6: ATTACK DEFEND AT TIPMAN CASTLE - This was unbelieveable. We had lunch and then got ready to defend Tipman Castle. They brought 150 people together for this match. It was 50 defenders against 100 attackers. The defenders wore purple sashes on their heads, but when a defender went down he ran out, rang a bell, tore off the sash, and was now an attacker. There was a flag on the second floor that had to be taken out of the castle for the win. If it stayed 20 minutes, the defenders win. Everything from the walk in, to finally being gunned down when they rushed the castle with 1 minute left was absolutely the most intense shit ever. I'd never seen so much paint fly. It was like a wall of pink paintballs appeared wherever someone showed their face. Tipman Castle is 3 stories with towers on all 4 corners and two in the middle, multiple rooms, a ton of doors in, and windows all around. I went to a window that I liked, but when I went to the other side to make sure it was being watched Mike took my window. I took the backdoor post from down a hallway. I started out by going upstairs and checking out the whole place. It was amazing and intimidating. We were walking inside a huge structure we had to defend that was wide open. No angle was safe, no place was good, it was all about getting the shot off faster than the guy coming to kill you. Upstairs was safer because people couldn't creep up to a window, pop up, and blast you, but we had so many people upstairs that I made the decision to stay downstairs and face my death. I knew if I was smart I could at least slow them down even if I didn't take them out, and that's what happened. I had 5 kills, one of which was the greatest shot I made all day. I shot a guy through a crack in the door, down a hallway, out another door, and through a missing board in a fence, right in the face. I also got in a few gunfights with guys who were experienced and were packing their own amazing equipment. Nothing felt better than putting a painball right in this one dude's face. He was leaning out from behind a door frame and sticking every single paintball exactly where it had to hit and 10 times faster than I could fire with my rental gun, but I still won the fight with an amazing shot. I leaned out and nailed him before he even realized I was coming back out. After I hit him I hit another guy looking in a window, then another one, then back to the door for #4, and the window AGAIN for number 5. At this point people knew where I was. I could see all the doors but one and 4 windows. I just kept looking at one then the other while dodging paintballs. I was pouring sweat from the adrenaline, and I knew I was going to be shot. It was all just a matter of time. I made this decision actively. I knew the ground floor was going to be taken. When I looked around to see who was around me, everyone was dead. I was the only defender I could find, and once someone finally realized that was the case they charged me and I took 3 in the back with 1 minute left in the round. All we needed to do was hold out 1 more minute to win, but I thought we were done. As I was leaving the attackers were pouring into the castle. It was over... or was it? Brad was upstairs still and he had a lil dude up there with him. Brad said later he could hear them pouring in and the lil guy was being shot at from all over. Lil dude looked over and goes, "I'm scared." (I took liberties with Brad's response... enjoy) "You are going to get that gun of yours down range and start firing. We're going to make it out of here. Ready, start firing NOW!" They both took a side and starting laying down fire. They held off a wall of attackers that were hell bent on grabbing the flag and getting it out of the castle and the defenders won! There were two hallways that the attacking team had to run down. They were narrow and slippery from paint, so all they had to do was not run out of paint before the time ran out. Awesome job. We were all so fired up afterwards that we took another water/piss/paint break and got ready for our last round.

Round 7: HEMLOCK TOTAL ELIMINATION - Finally! We get to go to one of the "wooded" fields. The other fields were wooded, but they were mostly structured and not as "natural." This field was awesome. Dark, deep, quiet. There was even a river. I decided I'd play it cool, but that I was going to work with one other guy and get all the way around behind the other team by following the river bed. Then I get the call from behind me, "yo! 2 of them crossed the river and are coming right for us!" I looked, and there they were. There were two guys in black shirts climbing through very dense brush. I waited a second for them to reach a little clearing and cut them both down. They weren't putting their hands up, so I just kept laying it on. I actually started feeling bad because I was watching ball after ball explode on this kid's chest and figured he was just caught up in the bushes. Turns out he was just going to keep going until a ref called him out... which didn't happen. While I was laying into these two... which was a good 10 to 15 seconds of fire from a forward position... another guy saw/heard me and shot the shit out of my back... again. I took more shots to the back then I did to any other part of my body. My team was worthless and did nothing to stop anyone from moving at will. By this time I was getting frustrated with dishonest people, was tired as fuck, couldn't see out of my mask anymore, and the other two guys were the same. The green team was on their way out, so we left too.

MY ONLY COMPLAINT ABOUT SKIRMISH USA:
There are not enough refs to handle the terrain and people can be very dishonest. I called myself out every time I knew I was shot. It doesn't take much. You feel the sting of 10 marbles hitting you in the chest at 280 feet per second and you put your hands up. I know I was hitting people who didn't go out because I shot the fucking shit out of our ref a couple times by accident. I'd see someone moving behind a tree or some shit and just start shooting. I'd hit them with every ball from the first one till the last one and they wouldn't be expecting it, so it was obvious that they were hit. Then I'd see a guy barely jogging 20 feet away and rip him to shreds and he'd keep going. BULLSHIT!

Anyways, it was a great day with great friends. I was 100% exhausted. I had nothing left last night. I tried to post something yesterday, but I fell asleep (see first paragraph). I am done typing... now