Series 7... CHECK!

I PASSED THE SERIES 7 EXAM WITH A 78%!

I did it! What a day! I got there around 8:15 and finished the test after 4:30. My day started just a few minutes after 5AM. I asked Helder to call my cell phone when he was getting in his jeep to go to the test because we are just about the same distance apart, but in different directions. I wanted every check I could get to make sure that I was up in time to make it. No way was I oversleeping today. So my phone rings... and it's dark outside. I immediately freak out, hop out of bed and grab the phone. I hear Helder on the other end, "dude, I'm leaving." "what? wait... what time is it? Did I sleep through my alarm? WTF is going on?" "Nah, I'm just leaving early." I closed the phone, set it down, and flopped back into my nice warm sheets. My alarm wasn't set to go off for at least another half hour. That half hour of sleep might be the difference, so I'm sleeping, gosh darn it! My alarm goes off, I jump out of bed, throw on my new cargo shorts from Old Navy, my favorite FU Football practice shirt, my favorite sweat shirt, a set of sneakers, my "Rock Out with your Cock Out" Trucker hat, my glasses, and run out the door. I originally decided on MU football, but I thought the trucker hat (being too small for my massive dome piece and half retarded) would at least get a laugh out of people who were about to take the most brutal test ever. Last minute I looked in the mirror and decided against rocking out with my cock out, but I brought it anyways just to put in the back window of my mom's lame-o Hyundai that I had to borrow because... you guessed it... no truck yet. It has a Yankee Candle air freshner, a snoopy doll on the dashboard, and a rock out with your cock out hat in the back window. People were confused.

The directions I got to the place were top knotch. I got there without incident, and pulled on in. Helder was in his jeep still because the doors were locked and we couldn't go in until quarter to 9. We sat in the parking lot and bullshitted a while and finally the doors were opened. We hoped in the vader and went down to LL. The place was basically the chamber of solitude from Get Smart. There were so many security procedures to go through. We had to have our picture taken, take everything out of our pockets, no watches, no bracelets, no hats, no sweatshirts, no jackets, nothing. Then we had to get digitally fingerprinted and show ID. While we were getting this all done I was nervous, so I decided I'd try and figure out who else was taking the 7. 2 other guys were taking it, there were 2 nurses taking some nursing test, and some other bullshit continuing ed test takers. Other than the 4 of us taking the 7, the others were all done before we even hit our lunch break. So one guy says he's testing to be a whole saler and my office is in his territory. Cool. So we start talking about the insanity of this test. I say, "Everyone knows right from wrong here. It's not hard to tell what you shouldnt' be doing. This test is bullshit." to which the wholesaler replied, "well, you have to look out for people that are only out to scam their way into a lot of money." I made it clear how serious about this exam I was by replying, "A man's gotta eat, you know." That got a laugh out of the guys there and broke a bit of the tension.

So then they call us one at a time to get cleared to go in. We hadn't left their immediate line of sight since we were checked into the building, but we had to show ID one more time and have our fingerprints verified before we could go start the test. Then one of the ladies had to type in a bunch of codes and shit to unlock the computers. I was the second person in, and I was shitting myself.

So then I'm off. I read the first question and immediately knew the answer. I clicked next, and to my supprize, I knew the next one too. I couldn't help smiling like an idiot because this kept up for the first 30 questions. I was so happy that I knew what the fuck was going on that I must have looked like a retard with a gas problem with that stupid grin on my face. Then they started getting hard. All of a sudden it was back to that old feeling of "what the fuck is that? And that? When the fuck did I learn this? Are they fucking serious?" for the next 70 or so questions. The last 30 were just as easy as the first 30, so I didn't feel all THAT bad, but I wasn't feeling all that confident either. It was just as hard as the hardest finals I took over the past two weeks and it used language I'd never seen in ways I could have never imagined. The stuff I studied all this time meant nothing. The way my prep material worked I thought I'd know every word that they could possibly throw at me... man was I wrong. The test had a really cool feature that worked like this. When you clicked an answer, you got three options: Accept, Accept and mark as 'review', Cancell. If you marked the question as review it would go to a list of questions you wanted to go back and look over again. With 270 questions, it made life easier. The thing that sucked was that when I was about half way through the first part I decided that I'd figure out what percentage of the test I marked as review because those are the ones that I truely guessed. I was at something like 68% that I knew and 32% that I was very unsure of. When you need a 70% to pass, that is a real mind fuck. So I finish the first part and decide I'm going to wave for a woman to come in and set my computer to "break mode" so I can go use the bathroom. Now the room is bugged all over the place, every sound is being recorded, and there is a video camera over everyone's head that is recorded to a computer in the fish tank like room where the woman who was watching us was sitting. All we had to do was "raise our hand" and someone was supposed to come in and help us. The woman that was in there wasn't paying attention, so I basically had to make a scene for her to come in and let me out. I bet it made for some interesting video. I come back from the lil boys' room and I had 77 minutes left to complete the first section. I went back and started going over the ones I had marked for review. All of a sudden a clock pops up on the window that says, "5 minute warning." I had been sucked into a vortex and quantom leaped into the future. That test is a black hole. If you were given 24 hours to finish it you'd use every second of it. I ran out of time before I was 100% satisfied with my answers, but there was nothing I could do. Helder was the second person into the room, so we went outside for our break together. We had one hour before the test would automatically start again, so we were very conscious of the time. I was beyond worrying anymore. I had received total consciousness... so I had that going for me, but Helder was freaking the fuck out. We started the conversation I never wanted to have... what are we going to tell Bill if we don't pass? What if neither of us pass? Or worse, what if only one of us passes? Helder hit it right on the head when he said, "It's not failing this test that bothers me. I know how hard it is and how many people don't pass it. It's the shame of having to go in there tomorrow not knowing if I'm going to be asked to clean out my desk in front of everyone." I figured if I wasn't passing that I was real close. We threw a few questions we remembered off each other and before we knew it, halftime was over and it was time for the second half.

We sauntered back in, went through the Get Smart doors, got scanned, passed through the air lock, and sat back at our computers. This section was the same as the first one. The first couple dozen were easy, the middle was a cluster fuck, and the last few were simple. I guess I figured out more of them this time than I did last time because I was done and went through all the ones I wasn't sure of and still had 30min left. This scared me because there were a lot of questions that came off the "review" list because staring at them any more would be a waste of time. I went back and struggled with a few more, then I heard Helder moving around. He was sitting next to me, so I leaned back and saw him getting up out of his chair and quietly walking out of the room. I couldn't wait any longer, so I hit exit, confirmed I wanted to exit by clicking a button that said, "clicking this button is not reversable. Once you exit, you cannot go back." Then the screen went black. Both of my legs were tapping so fast that I thought I was going to run out of breath. Then a window pops up that says, "SORRY for the inconvenience, but the test is still being scored. It should be another 10 seconds before your score is posted to the screen." When I saw the word sorry I was ready to shoot myself in the head. Then I waited for the longest 10 seconds of my life and WHAM! Score pops up. The screen was full of numbers and explanations and I couldnt' figure out what the final score was. Then I saw it... 78% - Pass! I jumped up, fists pumping, and in that second everything was perfect. I thought I was going to throw up for a second, then I turned and saw Helder looking through the fishbowl screaming "We did it!"

The last time I can remember being this proud of an accomplishment was on December 6th, 1998 when the clocked ticked zero at Giants Stadium and we had accomplished the impossible... state championship. I didn't know what to do with myself. I wanted to just scream like an idiot and bang my chest like a chimp. I felt like I was king of the world. I have a job. I'm a Financial Consultant at AG Edwards and Sons! I'm a Registered Representative at a NYSE member firm. I passed the worst that the NASD could throw at me. I did it. I did it through heatbreak. I did it through pain. I did it myself. This victory is mine. Getting this designation is amazing. It's like being knighted. Even though you walk out like you walked in, you're a different person. Sir NJX70, Registered Representative. This is now a part of me. I've grown stronger. I'm so happy I could cry. Nobody can ever take this away. I've done it and now I'm able to be a FC anywhere in the country. I've achieved a milestone in my life at one of the worst times I've ever lived through. Speaking of... my mother got a letter...

She wrote a letter to my mom. She was a part of my family. My mother looked out for her like she looked out for me and my sister Angela. Nobody was happier than my mom seeing me and beth together. So, she sent a letter. I don't have it in front of me, but it said something like, "I wanted to write this forever, but just got to it. I want to thank you for the time we spent together. I feel bad things didn't work out, but I think this will be the best in the long run. I'd like to keep in touch with you in the future." Bullshit. Stay out of my life. You wanted out, you're out. Don't go writting letters to my mom so she can get them on the best day I've had in years and throw them in front of me and bring a dark cloud over my temperment. I'm having a hard time with all this and the only solice I have is that you are truely gone. Don't go poking your comitment terrified head into my business. I gave you everything. Let me have my time in the sun. Thanks. You've ruined all the plans I had for my life and now you're going to do your best to ruin the day I'm 7 certified? Fuck that shit. I couldn't feel any worse about us. If you're not going to communicate with me, then don't go bringing my mother/carly/brad anyone else into this.

OK, if you're going to steal this day from me, then here we go. If you want to communicate with people in my life, let's try to keep it to just me. If you want to talk, send me an email. Keep my friends and family out of this shit. I hurt enough. I don't need people who love me hurting too. I want more than anything to be mad at you, but I can't be. I still care about you a lot, but even if we wanted it to work out at this point, it never would. I know that. It's not what I want. You are not what I need in my life and I thank you for showing me that even though it hurts. I'm doing my best with this and have been doing a good job. Don't ruin this for me. I think breaking my heart into a billion pieces should have been enough torture for you. Don't start this now. If you think you can validate anything you've done through my family or my friends you are setting yourself up to get burned. Send something to my sister, see what happens. Talk to my boys, see what happens. Try and talk to my mother, see what happens. Everyone in my life who you want to give you some satisfaction is frightningly loyal to me. You don't want to hear what they have to say about what you did, trust me.

ahem... back to this day being mine. I PASSED THE FUCKING 7! I can go back into the office tomorrow with my chest out like I own the place. Duckwalk style. I didn't want to go to work tomorrow at first, but now I can't wait to get in there and be one of the guys. I'm in now. I've passed through the fire and now I'm on the inside. I have 2 more tests and 3 weeks in St.Louis before I start selling, but the worst is behind me. Now I get to begin worrying about how to make money... just like everyone else. All the fear I had is gone. Now I can start living my life for real. There is nothing that can stop me. Today I was bullet proof, handsome, and could dance without even getting blotto. So this is what it's like to feel good about youself, eh?

This friday, I'm going back up to CT to hang with Drufus for the weekend. FU is always a good time and then saturday we're going to NYC. I was wondering if I was going to get drunk because it was a celebration (like cut blocking) or if I was going to be drinking myself to death to forget... I'm so fucking happy that I might have to cut someone, roll up his body, and choke him out for old time's sake.

I'm a RR for life!