Learning from myself

I decided last night that I was tired of selecting every mp3 in my collection and hitting shuffle. I wanted to avoid certain songs I was simply tired of hearing that ALWAYS come up. So, I decided I'd sort the music differently. I tried to think of a time when things changed for me... and I didn't have to think about THAT one very long. I didn't remember what day my life changed. That was realization 1. I can tell you the date, time, temperature, score of the game, who scored the winning touchdown, etc about my first kiss, but losing my most serious girlfriend... I had to look it up on my blog. Anyways, I sorted by date and noticed I had pretty much stopped getting music for a long time and started back up again on the 22nd of March. So I just highlighted every song I had aquired from March 22nd to the present and hit shuffle/play. What I found is that the music I have discovered and have fallen in love with NOW is far better than what I used to listen to and I actually listen to every single song from beginning to end instead of constantly getting up to skip.

I'll always have a place in my heart for Elvis, Sinatra, DAC, etc, but the new stuff is so much fun to listen to. It's Black Label Society, New Pornographers, Bender, Gypsy Kings, Johhny Cash, Eric Prydz, Foo Fighters, Mad Capsul Markets, and a shit load more. I've grown as a music lover and have found a lot more things to flood my head with now in my single life than I ever did when I was romatically involved.

I decided I'd sort them backwards and listen to them chronologically. It's amazing, I can actually remember why I got every one of them and it was like reliving a hard but empowering time in my life. I am starting to realize the strength I'm building in myself. I still get very lonely every now and again, but I'm seeing things in myself that I never let myself see. I feel good about who I am. I make people around me laugh, I have so many great friends, and have been meeting a ton of people who's reaction to me has made me feel really good about myself. I even ran into some old friends I haven't seen in half a decade who were just as happy to see me as I was to see them. That sounds stupid, but it really made me feel good.

EDIT I've decided to change this post. I'm not even sure why, but this paragraph is gone.


Goodbye