Finding Meaning
Ever since football went away and the girl I decided to focus my efforts around left me I've been struggling with the question "Why?" Why should I care about my job? Why should I care about where I'm going? Why am I here?
It's been a long road to a new career. I've been interviewing EVERYWHERE and have not found anything that made me really pumped to get started...
until today
Before I get to my mini revelation, I have to mention that wednesday was awful. I went to my dream job interview and was bait and switched. I had a 10 minute conversation, was told I wasn't qualified, and was offered a really shitty job. No dice. The young lady I met made me smile, so all was not lost, but that was a crushing blow.
Today I got a call from my grandmother "call J. He can help you out." I called J, and what he was helping me out with was a job with the fire department. I wasn't really excited about it at first because I was still frustrated from wednesday, but after speaking with J a bit he told me to check out their drill session tonight at a local school. I went over, met with the volunteer fire chief, and he said he'd love to have me on his team. I watched them set up the hoses, ready the engine and truck, and go through some practice with an older volunteer who talked to me about what it was like to be a fire fighter for about an hour. He kept using words like "team" "family" "unit" and a lot of words I was used to hearing. They count on each other and expect the man next to them to be going 100% all the time. They deal with life and death shit and everyone has to be in peak physical and mental shape to handle everything they need to handle.
That's what I want to be. I want to be a part of a team working towards soemthing bigger than my bank account. I want to help people and be a part of the community beyond a taxpayer. I want to make a difference and do good in this world.
I used to be a part of a team working towards a greater good. I used to be a thankless work horse with nothing to show for my work and I loved it. It felt great to be a cog in the machine. I had purpose, meaning, drive, love, and determination. Now, I can't even get out of bed to get to an interview because I have no excitement about the position AT ALL.
As a volunteer I won't be getting paid, but J feels that this is the single best way to get in and they are going to be hiring again real soon, so if I can get the bartending thing going, I'll be fine until I'm a career fire fighter. J says it will be sooner than later if everything goes well, but I won't know the details until sunday.
Tomorrow is a new day with a new focus and a fresh outlook on life. I'm excited for the first time in years. I have a girl that I want to spend time with, and a focus towards a career that will mean something to me.
Tomorrow starts my running regimine. I can't lift without paying gym fees, but I sure as hell can run. You know what? I'm excited about running. I want to get myself in shape because I want to show the fire chief that I can run a mile, smash down a wall and be alert and sharp in 300 degree heat because I used to be like that, and I will be again.
Cousin fil is actually stopping by, so I'll say more later, or I won't and you'll like it. Goodbye
It's been a long road to a new career. I've been interviewing EVERYWHERE and have not found anything that made me really pumped to get started...
until today
Before I get to my mini revelation, I have to mention that wednesday was awful. I went to my dream job interview and was bait and switched. I had a 10 minute conversation, was told I wasn't qualified, and was offered a really shitty job. No dice. The young lady I met made me smile, so all was not lost, but that was a crushing blow.
Today I got a call from my grandmother "call J. He can help you out." I called J, and what he was helping me out with was a job with the fire department. I wasn't really excited about it at first because I was still frustrated from wednesday, but after speaking with J a bit he told me to check out their drill session tonight at a local school. I went over, met with the volunteer fire chief, and he said he'd love to have me on his team. I watched them set up the hoses, ready the engine and truck, and go through some practice with an older volunteer who talked to me about what it was like to be a fire fighter for about an hour. He kept using words like "team" "family" "unit" and a lot of words I was used to hearing. They count on each other and expect the man next to them to be going 100% all the time. They deal with life and death shit and everyone has to be in peak physical and mental shape to handle everything they need to handle.
That's what I want to be. I want to be a part of a team working towards soemthing bigger than my bank account. I want to help people and be a part of the community beyond a taxpayer. I want to make a difference and do good in this world.
I used to be a part of a team working towards a greater good. I used to be a thankless work horse with nothing to show for my work and I loved it. It felt great to be a cog in the machine. I had purpose, meaning, drive, love, and determination. Now, I can't even get out of bed to get to an interview because I have no excitement about the position AT ALL.
As a volunteer I won't be getting paid, but J feels that this is the single best way to get in and they are going to be hiring again real soon, so if I can get the bartending thing going, I'll be fine until I'm a career fire fighter. J says it will be sooner than later if everything goes well, but I won't know the details until sunday.
Tomorrow is a new day with a new focus and a fresh outlook on life. I'm excited for the first time in years. I have a girl that I want to spend time with, and a focus towards a career that will mean something to me.
Tomorrow starts my running regimine. I can't lift without paying gym fees, but I sure as hell can run. You know what? I'm excited about running. I want to get myself in shape because I want to show the fire chief that I can run a mile, smash down a wall and be alert and sharp in 300 degree heat because I used to be like that, and I will be again.
Cousin fil is actually stopping by, so I'll say more later, or I won't and you'll like it. Goodbye
posted by NJX70 at 9:13 PM
1 Comments:
You animal!
~ Mr. VP
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