More on Saturday Night
For those of you who know me, you know I don't fight. I love fighting as long as it's inside a ring, on a football field, etc where afterwards you shake hands and everyone goes home in one piece, but in a bar... no fucking way. On Saturday night, the bouncer at this stupid bar, The Fat Black Pussycat, the bouncer was trying to pick a fight with me and Drufus for no identifiable reason. He constantly followed us around the bar and every time we'd stop to talk to someone or to get a drink he'd tell us we couldn't stand there or sit there or that we had to move down 10 feet.
I need to backtrack a bit and explain how the transistion to this bar happened. We were at a "fun" bar called "Off The Wagon" in the village and it was so packed that you couldn't move. Of course, it's NYC, so everyone and their mother is trying to prove how much of a tough guy they are. Even the girls were pushing and shoving every time they had to go somewhere. If you are at a happening bar and you have to use the lil boys' room you normally have to excuse yourself by at least 1 person on your way there or back. I'm overly conscious of my manners in that type of situation because I know if I bump someone they will immediately think that I have it in my head that I'm bigger and thus can throw people around. All I want to do is use the restroom... leave me alone! In NYC, standard opperating procedure is to put an angry look on your face and push the shit out of everyone in your way no matter where you're trying to go and wether or not the person you're pushing has anywhere to move to. I swear I had rug burn from people putting elbows in my lower back and pushing me to get by. I was getting so mad about this only because whenever I'm in Boston, it's not like that at all. In Boston, everyone at the bar is looking to have a good time. You see smiling dancing people laughing and having a great time. In New York, you get a bunch of wanna be thugs and losers trying to prove that they are the biggest douche bag around. I actually made an announcement at one point that Boston was the better of the two cities. It got so bad that I wanted to go out and buy a stupid B hat so I could show my allegiance to the greater of the two party cities... but that would just be wrong.
So "Off The Wagon" starts thinning out a bit and we finally have some room to move around... and the girls want to leave. They want to go to another bar with a cool lounge that they've heard is a lot of fun. So off we go to The Fat Black Pussycat. There was a McDs next door, so I went over and got a burger to fight my upcomming hangover by myself and then went to the bar. There were 2 bouncers. They were both fat and black. One was 6'6" and the other one was at least 6'10". The taller one didn't say a word, but the shorter one stopped me. I thought he wanted my ID so I pulled it out and happily extended it to him. He pushed it back at me and said, "no single guys." I thought I'd crack a joke so I said, "Wow, you're satisfied allready?" "No, single guys, beat it." I was trying to be nice so I said, "Hey, man. I'm not from around here and my friends went ahead while I was grabbing a bite to eat. I'll go in and get them if you'd like me to prove it." "no. You better call someone to come out here and get your ass." I didn't even want to go in at this point, but as I said, I'm not from NYC and I had no idea where the apartment was that we were staying at, or how to get back, or any solution whatsoever besides to call someone to come out and get me. I called Drufus, told him what was up, and he sent out all the girls to walk me in like a lil kid crossing the street. I go in and the short bouncer follows me in. Every single time we'd stop to talk to someone, get a drink, sit at the bar, etc this asshole would tell us to keep moving. "you can't sit here. No single guys at the bar. Move down 10 feet. You can't stand there. bla bla bla" He started really getting on my nerves, but I just passed the 7 and wasn't about to lose my job over some self important dickhead who is just looking for a fight. I decided I'd check out the scene and see what was up. The layout of the bar was shitty because there was no place to mingle. You were either standing at the bar or you were sitting at one of the many tiny lil tables in the back. We weren't allowed to talk to anyone sitting at the tables, so we just had to talk amongst ourselves. We were out with Drufus's friends from high school, and he has some pretty girls in his gang, but they weren't looking to party, so that wasn't going to happen. There was no chance of meeting any other girls because they were all at tables and that meant they were off limits. This was the worst place to meet girlies EVER!
So finally it happened. Drufus went into fight mode. If you know a guy for a long time you know what fight mode is and how serious a situation you've just been thrown into. Every time I've seen drufus in fight mode someone's been punched. Weather it was me, some teammate during practice, whatever, when he's in fight mode, we're fighting. What happened was the asshole bouncer came up to us while we were ordering drinks at the bar and told us to move down 10 feet. There were people lined up on both sides of us and there was nowhere to move. The guy wouldn't listen to reason, so Drufus finally loses it and goes, "Fuck it, you piece of shit. I"ll move 10 feet!" lowers his shoulder and runs over 10 feet worth of people. It took a good couple of seconds for him to blast everyone off the stools, so I figured the bouncer was going to grab him, the other bigger bouncer was going to grab him, or one of the dudes he just flattened was going to get up swinging. I took off my glasses and was just waiting to see who the most dangerous man was going to be. I was CERTAIN beyond any doubt that someone was going to attack my Drufus and that I was going to have to knock someone out. If it was certain who it was going to be I would have just swung at that moment, but with all the differnet places with bogeys, I didn't want to jump the gun. Me and drufus's other dude friend looked at each other, he put down his drink and we were both ready to rumble. Then, for whatever fucking reason (thank God) the guy walked away, the pushed people didn't do shit, and the other bouncer stayed where he was. I put my glasses back on after a few minutes just to make sure the guy wasn't coming back and now I was ready to get the fuck out. Of course the other half of our drinking party didn't see what happened and didnt' realize the importance of getting the hell out of there ASAP, so we ended up staying another hour. I kept my distance from that piece of shit as well as I could with him following me around and drufus went and sat in the lounge. I figured we were an intimidating factor together, so I stayed alone to defuse the situation. I ended up threatening one of Drufus's friends, Drufus threatened me, and we all went home together and laughed about it the next day.
To end the night we took a cab. On the way in we took the subway. For whatever reason, NYC transit figured it was a good time to shut down half of the freaken lines, so it took 2 hours to get to the bar. The cab was a welcome choice. I decided I'd be a gentleman and pay for the cab. It was $19 in change so I threw him a $20, told everyone I took care of the cab faire, and got out. I look back and gloria is still talking to the dude. Drufus and I both shout at her that I allready paid, but she was like, "wait, we have to pay the guy, we can't just leave without paying." "Gloria, I paid him $20." "nah, we have to pay the man." "Fine Gloria, you're funding terrorism."
There was a big group of black people screaming at each other outside Gloria's apartment, so she ran inside lickedy split. I decided I'd fuck with her so I was like, "yo, yell out to them 'You won't shoot him!" Gloria was freaking out, "nooooo! Don't say anything! What if they shoot in my window???" I saw what was going on being the most sober member of the party. It was just a guy and a girl yelling back and forth at each other, but Gloria figured it was the bloods and crypts having a scuffle. It was funny.
So the outcome of the weekend? I love Boston. I hate New York City.
One final note: My site is finally coming up on Google. I saw a few interesting searches that ended up here including "how to narrow a ford 9 inch" and "angry naked pat "The superbowl is gay" video." Someone googled my name "NJX70" I wish I knew who that was. Anyways, let the googling begin!
I need to backtrack a bit and explain how the transistion to this bar happened. We were at a "fun" bar called "Off The Wagon" in the village and it was so packed that you couldn't move. Of course, it's NYC, so everyone and their mother is trying to prove how much of a tough guy they are. Even the girls were pushing and shoving every time they had to go somewhere. If you are at a happening bar and you have to use the lil boys' room you normally have to excuse yourself by at least 1 person on your way there or back. I'm overly conscious of my manners in that type of situation because I know if I bump someone they will immediately think that I have it in my head that I'm bigger and thus can throw people around. All I want to do is use the restroom... leave me alone! In NYC, standard opperating procedure is to put an angry look on your face and push the shit out of everyone in your way no matter where you're trying to go and wether or not the person you're pushing has anywhere to move to. I swear I had rug burn from people putting elbows in my lower back and pushing me to get by. I was getting so mad about this only because whenever I'm in Boston, it's not like that at all. In Boston, everyone at the bar is looking to have a good time. You see smiling dancing people laughing and having a great time. In New York, you get a bunch of wanna be thugs and losers trying to prove that they are the biggest douche bag around. I actually made an announcement at one point that Boston was the better of the two cities. It got so bad that I wanted to go out and buy a stupid B hat so I could show my allegiance to the greater of the two party cities... but that would just be wrong.
So "Off The Wagon" starts thinning out a bit and we finally have some room to move around... and the girls want to leave. They want to go to another bar with a cool lounge that they've heard is a lot of fun. So off we go to The Fat Black Pussycat. There was a McDs next door, so I went over and got a burger to fight my upcomming hangover by myself and then went to the bar. There were 2 bouncers. They were both fat and black. One was 6'6" and the other one was at least 6'10". The taller one didn't say a word, but the shorter one stopped me. I thought he wanted my ID so I pulled it out and happily extended it to him. He pushed it back at me and said, "no single guys." I thought I'd crack a joke so I said, "Wow, you're satisfied allready?" "No, single guys, beat it." I was trying to be nice so I said, "Hey, man. I'm not from around here and my friends went ahead while I was grabbing a bite to eat. I'll go in and get them if you'd like me to prove it." "no. You better call someone to come out here and get your ass." I didn't even want to go in at this point, but as I said, I'm not from NYC and I had no idea where the apartment was that we were staying at, or how to get back, or any solution whatsoever besides to call someone to come out and get me. I called Drufus, told him what was up, and he sent out all the girls to walk me in like a lil kid crossing the street. I go in and the short bouncer follows me in. Every single time we'd stop to talk to someone, get a drink, sit at the bar, etc this asshole would tell us to keep moving. "you can't sit here. No single guys at the bar. Move down 10 feet. You can't stand there. bla bla bla" He started really getting on my nerves, but I just passed the 7 and wasn't about to lose my job over some self important dickhead who is just looking for a fight. I decided I'd check out the scene and see what was up. The layout of the bar was shitty because there was no place to mingle. You were either standing at the bar or you were sitting at one of the many tiny lil tables in the back. We weren't allowed to talk to anyone sitting at the tables, so we just had to talk amongst ourselves. We were out with Drufus's friends from high school, and he has some pretty girls in his gang, but they weren't looking to party, so that wasn't going to happen. There was no chance of meeting any other girls because they were all at tables and that meant they were off limits. This was the worst place to meet girlies EVER!
So finally it happened. Drufus went into fight mode. If you know a guy for a long time you know what fight mode is and how serious a situation you've just been thrown into. Every time I've seen drufus in fight mode someone's been punched. Weather it was me, some teammate during practice, whatever, when he's in fight mode, we're fighting. What happened was the asshole bouncer came up to us while we were ordering drinks at the bar and told us to move down 10 feet. There were people lined up on both sides of us and there was nowhere to move. The guy wouldn't listen to reason, so Drufus finally loses it and goes, "Fuck it, you piece of shit. I"ll move 10 feet!" lowers his shoulder and runs over 10 feet worth of people. It took a good couple of seconds for him to blast everyone off the stools, so I figured the bouncer was going to grab him, the other bigger bouncer was going to grab him, or one of the dudes he just flattened was going to get up swinging. I took off my glasses and was just waiting to see who the most dangerous man was going to be. I was CERTAIN beyond any doubt that someone was going to attack my Drufus and that I was going to have to knock someone out. If it was certain who it was going to be I would have just swung at that moment, but with all the differnet places with bogeys, I didn't want to jump the gun. Me and drufus's other dude friend looked at each other, he put down his drink and we were both ready to rumble. Then, for whatever fucking reason (thank God) the guy walked away, the pushed people didn't do shit, and the other bouncer stayed where he was. I put my glasses back on after a few minutes just to make sure the guy wasn't coming back and now I was ready to get the fuck out. Of course the other half of our drinking party didn't see what happened and didnt' realize the importance of getting the hell out of there ASAP, so we ended up staying another hour. I kept my distance from that piece of shit as well as I could with him following me around and drufus went and sat in the lounge. I figured we were an intimidating factor together, so I stayed alone to defuse the situation. I ended up threatening one of Drufus's friends, Drufus threatened me, and we all went home together and laughed about it the next day.
To end the night we took a cab. On the way in we took the subway. For whatever reason, NYC transit figured it was a good time to shut down half of the freaken lines, so it took 2 hours to get to the bar. The cab was a welcome choice. I decided I'd be a gentleman and pay for the cab. It was $19 in change so I threw him a $20, told everyone I took care of the cab faire, and got out. I look back and gloria is still talking to the dude. Drufus and I both shout at her that I allready paid, but she was like, "wait, we have to pay the guy, we can't just leave without paying." "Gloria, I paid him $20." "nah, we have to pay the man." "Fine Gloria, you're funding terrorism."
There was a big group of black people screaming at each other outside Gloria's apartment, so she ran inside lickedy split. I decided I'd fuck with her so I was like, "yo, yell out to them 'You won't shoot him!" Gloria was freaking out, "nooooo! Don't say anything! What if they shoot in my window???" I saw what was going on being the most sober member of the party. It was just a guy and a girl yelling back and forth at each other, but Gloria figured it was the bloods and crypts having a scuffle. It was funny.
So the outcome of the weekend? I love Boston. I hate New York City.
One final note: My site is finally coming up on Google. I saw a few interesting searches that ended up here including "how to narrow a ford 9 inch" and "angry naked pat "The superbowl is gay" video." Someone googled my name "NJX70" I wish I knew who that was. Anyways, let the googling begin!
posted by NJX70 at 7:59 PM
1 Comments:
What is really dumbfouding is why this place would care about the number of single guys. the place is not set up to meet people, and only condusive to hanging out with those you are there with. For that reason I don;t know why they gave a hoot who the hell is in there. Plus single guys drink a lot more than girls. That means more money for the bar. Yet another reason.
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