Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Next to the last straw

Growing up I wanted to join the Army. In college I wanted to go OCS. The fact that I was listed in the draft reports for the 2003 NFL draft stopped me from cutting the weight I needed to cut to join the marine OCS program.

Well, after I chose to persue a career in football... twice... I decided I needed to settle down. The reason I settled down went away and I was left in a shitty career with no hope of sucess.

I was fired.

8 months later I'm still here. No job. No money. No chances. No choices. No future.

I've applied to everything from day laborer to hedge funds and been laughed at by them all.

"You're not serious about wanting to work here. You're a college guy. Why the hell would we hire you full time as a construction worker? Apply for foreman jobs and stop wasting my time."

"You're not serious about applying for a foreman job. You have no industry experience. Why not stay in finance?"

"You're not serious about applying to this hedge fund, are you? You don't even have a finance degree."

"You're not serious about applying for a sales assistant job, you're a salesman. You won't be happy here."

"You're not serious about wanting to answer phones for a living. You were a financial consultant for christ's sake."

YOU KNOW WHAT, MOTHER FUCKERS? I AM DEAD SERIOUS. I'VE NEVER BEEN SO SERIOUS ABOUT ANYTHING IN MY LIFE. I NEED A MOTHER FUCKING JOB AND STOP THINKING YOU KNOW BETTER THAN I DO WHAT I WANT!

I'm sick of it. My life up to this point has taken one wrong turn after another. I have no idea how people read my resume or what they think when they meet me, but whatever it is that's stopping them from hiring me, they need to just spit it out so I can evaluate what the fuck I'm doing wrong and fix it.

Actually, no. Nevermind. Don't tell me shit. Keep saying "it's not a good fit" just like every other suit wearing CUNT in the business world who has no balls and resorts to dropping buzz words like they are the fucking gospel.

I have one interview left. I'm going on one more. It's the last one I'm going to. I have an interview with a company in two days. There is nothing they can say or ask that I don't have real world experience to back up with well documented records of sucess. It's an industry I know well, that is looking for people "like me" and is right in my neck of the woods. I will dance like a monkey for them and they will clap and hire me after giving the organ grinder a few cents.

What if they don't?

Well, I filled out my online application for the US Army tonight. I expect to be contacted by an Army recruiter by the end of the week. If they will train me to be a mechanic, then I will enlist. I've always wanted to be a mechanic, and times have never been so bad. It's time to stand up for what I believe in... nah.. it's not... it's time to find a job that really wants guys like me... big powerful athletic stupid follwers who will do whatever they are told and believe in honor, justice, and the american way of life. People who voted for Bush TWICE and are proud of our commander and chief to this day.

I went out with my best friend's father today to see what he does for a living so I could get a better picture of what I'd be doing if I became a salesman with him. I love it. That's exactly why it's not going to work out. It's a great career with a man who's right up their with my father and my coaches when it comes to my respect. I'd get to learn from and hang out with him on a daily basis and hopefully make a shit load of money. The problem is everything is a numbers game. He makes a great living, but it could be one big job a year... 2 jobs... 6 jobs... who knows. It's not a 60 ticket a year gig, so it could take too long for me to get going before I'm punted from my apartment and forced to give up any shot at a social life so I can live back with my parents.

I won't let that happen.

I am going to one more interview. If that doesn't work out... which I can almost guarantee will happen... it's too good a job for someone with my curse. I simply can't wrap my head around how awesome it would be to work for them, and that is the single biggest reason why I won't get it. Trust me... I've been doing this longer and with more companies than any "professional" you know. I know what I will not get... and that's anything that interests me or pays enough to cover the tiny bills I have.

Well, maybe I should explain the next to last straw... a job that I was perfect for and had a wonderful intrerview with, declined my application. This has happened way too many times for me to just brush it off. I have great interviews and then get a call the next day that "I'm not a good fit."

That was my next to last rejection. I have a job with a package delivery company that I will do part time (because they can't hire me full time due to a family member who works there) and send every cent I get to my land lord. I will live on zero dollars a month beyond that rent check. I will let my phone, internet, and electricity get cut off. Everything else doesn't matter. I will hustle like I've never hustled before with my friend's father's company and I will make it work. If it doesn't, then HELOOOOOOO ARMED FORCES!

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