The dreams in my head

I know things are changing in my life because I had a dream about the market on sunday. For those of you that don't know, when the Dow Jones Industrial Average drops or raises by 2% in one day it triggers all these alarms and kills the electronic order entry system known as SuperDOT. On Friday the Dow was down something like 1.5% and everyone in my office was freaking out watching it just plummet. Then on Sunday night I had a dream that I was in a cab on a sunny day passing by the stock exchange. There was a big ticker going across on top of the doorway and it was blank. I knew it was on, and the market was open, but nothing was happening. I asked the cab driver to stop and I got out and gawked at the ticker for a good minute. Then I reached and grabbed a "bat phone" and said, "Get me the pentagon!" and that was it. It was a funny little story to tell on a Monday morning at work.

Then last night I had the most horrible dreams I've ever survived in my whole life.


I can't even go into detail because it's that bad. It wasn't scary, it was just the worst emotional pain I've felt in a long long time. It felt just as bad as when she left me. I miss her, but this pain makes it blatently obvious I can never speak to her again. I can never know anything about her life, what she's doing, nothing.

My life is going really well now. I'm tight with my friends, my job is going as well as I could have ever hoped, Ari is opening accounts (I try to pace myself to his sucess because he's about 2 months ahead of me. If he can do it, I can do it), my apartment is right around the corner, I got a straight answer about my truck (it might be back by this weekend), the weather's perfect, I'm enjoying life for myself, and I'm putting money in the bank. I understand now what someone was saying when I heard, "you have to be happy with yourself first." I've never been happy... until now. I couldnt' ask for more than I have. I have suffered enough, it's my turn now.

Moving right along, I have made some connections on eharmony.com this week. I'm meeting some nice ladies and I think the site should be able to pay for itself sooner than later. I just like having someone to talk to. I will always have one in the chamber, J.Skizzie. Thank you for the knowledge.

I'm having a real hard time writting tonight. It's been a rough day and I just want to sleep. I'll be back.