Halfway through week 1

So here I am. It's wednesday. What have I learned? I've learned that some people are just mean no matter what you do. Some people are nice no matter what you do. Some people will listen no matter what you do. And some people won't. The most important thing I've gathered is that my integrity shows through in my work. Everyone I've had real conversations with have said the only reason they are talking to me is because they could tell I am "a good man." There are some things in life that you have to thank God and your parents for. One of them is when someone who's never spoken to you in your life picks up the phone on a Wednesday afternoon with no intention of doing anything and ends up respecting you for your values. If they weren't real, then nobody would believe me. If I wasn't a good guy, I wouldnt' be treated like one. I think deep down my personality and my honesty will get me more clients than my ability to spin conversations and have great products. I am someone people can trust, and even though i have no idea how, they can tell over the phone without ever meeting me face to face.

Enough of tooting my own mediocre horn. I stink.

So it's been an interesting week so far. I've uncovered some really good people who have a legitimate need that I can help them with. The only problem is that it's going to take a long time to actually open their accounts. Not many high net worth people are going to just sign their savings over after a week or two. Most will take at least a few months. I am not going to go into the whole sales process, but I will say this: Even if I don't open a ton of accounts, I'm meeting some really interesting people who have great stories and amazing lives. If nothing else I'll make a friend or two out there.

I've also had some exciting conversations this week, but I'll leave it at that.

I finally dropped off my dirty clothes to the dry cleaners. It was 2 suits and 11 shirts. It's going to cost me around 25 bucks, but I'll have nice clean clothes to wear for a change. When I went out to St.Louis I packed my stuff waaaaaaaay too tight and they all came out looking like I packed them in a grocery bag. Once I get these 2 suits back the others will go in to be cleaned and pressed as well. Then I'll actually look like a real business man. I fell like such a bum in a wrinkled suit.

Eventually AJ is going to send me the rest of his build pictures from his hotrod and bike and I'll post them here, but I want to wait until I have them all, so it will probably be a while.

Anything else going on... not really... I set one appointment this week... with a friend of mine. He's going to come in so I can help him with some of his finances and I can't wait. It's going to be a good trial run of what I have to do when strangers come in. I'm going to treat him like a client, watch my language, and do everything right. I'm going to prepare like it's not a friend and present my solution to him in the same manner. It's an account on week 1, and I'm thankful. Let's just hope I can set some appointments for week 2.

Real Life: Part 1

don't know how legal this is, but I took a few shots out the window of the plane.

I did it. I spent a whole day at the office and was busy and active for all of it. I spent the morning entering data and calling people. In the afternoon I called for a few hours and got some mailers together. In the middle I met with Bill as a full fledged producer for the first time and got some great ideas together. It was a fantastic day. I made 2 really good contacts and a handful of decent ones. I didn't hit my number of contacts I had hoped for, but I had a shitload of things besides prospecting to do. I know, I know, you're not supposed to worry about anything but prospecting, but I had a ton of catchup to do seeing as I didn't have business cards until about 3 this afternoon (and I had promised to send cards to about 45 people since last friday) and didn't have access to my broker vision out in St.Louis. I won't bore you with descriptions of what broker vision is, but I will say this: It rocks it with a capital R.

I feel much better about my career, but I don't think this feeling will last long unless I start scheduling a ton of appointments ASAP. I have one half setup for thursday, but I have to confirm it tomorrow. I really hope the dude comes through because I KNOW I can help him and his showing up will help me more than he could possibly imagine.

I am also learning a little about why we new brokers do so well. Here is a little taste of what the life of an FC is like. You start out prospecting and calling everyone you can get to listen to you. You bring in 12 accounts a month and build a substantial business. Once you've made people happy, they start referring their friends and family. Once you bring them in and make them happy, they refer their friends and family to you. Etc etc. Now every person you have on your book should be "touched" once a month and brought in for a "checkup" once a year. Each checkup probably lasts between a half hour and an hour at least. Now, that seems all fine and good, but once you have 365 clients that's one checkup a day that takes probably an hour on average. That's crazy. You should be out on appointments bringing in new money and networking on just about a daily basis. If you're constantly meeting, calling, and writting existing clients then how are you going to bring in new ones? There are older brokers who have over a thousand accounts... how the hell are you supposed to service them all? That's where the new brokers come in. I call so many people who have long standing accounts at other brokerage firms that can't even remember their broker's name because it's been so long since they last heard from him. They are dieing to be taken care of, and I'm just the man to take care of them. Eventually I'll have too many clients to give them all the individual attention they want, and some punk who just passed the 7 will be there to swoop in and offer them what they want. The cycle goes on. How many you keep depends on what you're willing to do/spend to keep them. I have plans in my head that should solve the problem, but why would I post them up here where other brokers could steal them and stop me from stealing their clients? ha!

So this is my life now. I am going to do well if today is any indication, the only problem is that every person I've spoken with that has substantial money and a desire to work with me is going to take time. Some want to enjoy the summer before doing business, others have busy seasons, family issues, vacations, etc that keep them from moving ahead right now. I will get them, but it will take time. I really want to be the guy who makes their lives better, but it's going to take a lot of time for me to prove myself. I wouldn't expect any less. It's a big deal and I only want people who are going to take it seriously, but I also want to open my 12 accounts this month so I don't get shit on by my bosses. I'm just going to have to learn how fast I can push people before they lose patience with me.

I also ordered my hands free kit today so I don't end up with taco neck. Calling for hours on end with a receiver in your hand isn't fun. It wasn't so bad out in st.louis because of how it was set up, but at my desk I could really use both my hands. Not only would it make it easier to manipulate paperwork, but I could easily enter things into my computer real time instead of writting down notes and punching them in later. Every minute I can spare is another call. Every 200 calls is another account. Every account is one step closer to reaching my goals and living a happy, comfortable life.

So there you have it. Day 1 over and still looking forward to day 2. I never thought this day would come. I'm so proud of myself because I'm doing this for me. When I am sucessful it will be because I did it myself. Every day is an adventure and every single day is going to be fun if only because of the challenge involved. I love my life.

WPE/lifting cars/rest of my life

Larry is the Worst Person Ever (WPE). WPE graduated. WPE threw a party. Thus, it was the Worst Graduation Party Ever. Nothing like a few beers with some old friends. I'm telling you, it's always great to hang out with these guys because no matter what everyone's doing, when we get together, it's always the same.



Just about all my friends have motorcycles now, so I have to speed up my search. The plan right now is to upgrade the exhaust on the truck, save up enough money to lift the truck and buy 5 new tires and 5 new wheels, and then buy a bike. I have been thinking about this forever because there are 3 major toys I need to get in order: Ramcharger, Bike, Pickup. My ramcharger is something I want to do right and take my time. It needs a lot of work and I'm willing to do it, but I really want to save up at least 10 grand before I even pick up a wrench because it needs some major components before it will get anywhere. The bike would be awesome to get done, but that's going to be another 5 grand MINIMUM. Also, I don't have my liscence, so I'd have to try and squeeze myself into a rider's saftey course (which is near impossible in the summer). My ram needs a new exhaust from headers back, a lift, and 5 new tires. The exhaust is my #1 concern right now. It needs to be replaced ASAP because my truck sounds like a toy with the new stock muffler that was put on (against my direct request). I was thinking about headers, but I'm not too picky about them. So project 1 is headers, dual glasspacks, dual stainless steel exhaust pipes. That will probably run me a little over a grand. My pickup is also going to need tires in about 10,000 miles, so I'm going to have to start saving for a lift. There is no way in hell I'm paying another $800 in tires without them being just right. It needs at least 35s (maybe 38.5s) to make it look real sharp. To get them under the truck, it's going to need a lift kit. All in all, that project should run about 3 grand including all parts and labor.

For those of you keeping score at home:
1.Pickup exhaust
2.Pickup lifted/new tires
3.motorcycle
4.Ramcharger

It only makes sense to do it this way. I drive my pickup every single day, so I should be proud of it ASAP. The bike would be used just as much, so that's next, and the ramcharger is a weekend trail thrasher, so that's last.

Back to reality

Today I helped AJ lift his hotrod out of the back of a pickup and cary it into the garage. Yes, I did pick up a car today and carry it into the garage. It's a early 30s Chrystler and all he has is the body and frame, so it wasn't hard with a couple of dudes. It was awesome to just stand next to it and realize what it's going to be. It's rusted and riddled with bullet holes, but damn it, it's beautiful. I can see it hauling ass down the highway on a beautiful Saturday afternoon. I can feel what it must be like to be driving something you built with your own two hands and see the looks on people's faces as you drive by. I can't wait to do this shit myself. Every time I talk to AJ I want to just drop everything and start working on the ramcharger. Unfortunately I don't have as convenient a situation as he does (or half of the knowledge/experience he does) so it's going to be much harder for me, but I'll do it. The feeling of amazing potential while standing next to the rusty shell of an extinct car was overwhelming. Trucks and hotrods are how I want to spend all my free time. God help me if I make enough money to start sinking it into my trucks. I'll be spending every night under the hood of my truck until that bitch is 100%. grrrr!!!!!!1

Final thing I need to get across is that it's 12AM and I'm so jittery that I can't even type let alone go to sleep. Why? Because once I wake up I am no longer a trainee. I'm no longer practicing my routine over the big comfy saftey net of a regular paycheck. This is the first game after football camp where all the practice and potential have to meet, but it never feels right. I know it's going to be awkward for a while. I can tell exactly where I am mentally because it feels like the day before our first game of the season. Especially since I spent two weeks out in St.Louis and am expected to hit the ground running tomorrow. I just feel all knotted up because I don't feel right. First of all, I don't know if I have a clean shirt to wear tomorrow (cleaners are closed at 1 on saturday and all day sunday). I am not even sure where the cleaners are but I should drop my shirts off tomorrow morning BEFORE I go in... but I won't. I'll do it after work when I have time to just wander around motown in my truck and see if I can find the place. Secondly, this is an exciting time, but it's going to be a huge challenge. I know my shit and I know I'll do well for my clients, but I have to bring in clients before anything else. For the next 3 years I'll be in a mad dash for new clients. I will be cold calling every free moment until I simply can't handle the influx of referrals. If that day never comes, if I never bring in more referrals than I can handle, then I'll keep cold calling until I retire. I don't give a shit. I'm fo real fo real. I just want to get that first account opened and get all the nervousness out. This is all so new to me. I have an in depth knowledge of the securities industry, the products we offer, the service we are to provide, but it's the simple "who do I give this form to?" kind of stuff that's going to rattle me until I've done it a few times.

Oh, and BTW, this is the first time I've ever known what somebody does all day at work when they have an office job. I have been asking that question since I can remember, "What job does your dad have?" "he works in an office in new york" "really? What does he do?" "he's a manager" "yeah, so what does he do?" I've been asking people this question my whole life and this is the first time where I know the answer. I would look around the office while I was getting a cup of coffee or using the lil boys' room and I never had any clue what everyone did all day. I mean you can see they're on the phone or their with a client or whatnot, but the details... never had any idea. I can spell you out by hour what I'm going to be doing tomorrow. I won't, but I could, and it feels great. I can't say how I'll feel doing that stuff, but according to the list of things I have to get done I should have no problem keeping myself busy. This time next week I should know how I feel about my hours. I could be going in for 3 hours a day with a 1 hour lunch, but I wouldn't last long. I could stay for 16 hours a day, 6 days a week, but I wouldn't last long that way either. There are just a ton of lil questions about lil things that are causing a ton of lil problems that I simply can't answer until kickoff.

Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life. <---- That is such a cornball line, but it's never been so true. I'm in the job of my dreams, typing away on my high speed internet connection, in my own apartment, single, and in the middle of the morristown party scene. If things go as well as I dream they will I'll be a happy lil guy pretty damn quick.

Goodbye

St.Louis Picture sets up!

You can click over to flickr for the rest, but here are a few:


Here's the room where I spent the majority of my time.


View of the HQ from my hotel


HQ taken from Market St.


View from Bob Bagby's desk


Evil Awesome Dan's Twin Sean and C. Whitney


Sean, Slavney, and Christy


big arch


cool building

for the rest, just click the photos on the right

Recovering

I titled the last post Zero Month because that is what I'm in right now. It's a company term for whatever's left over of the month you finished training that gets counted into your next month's production numbers. We have a full 5 days to open accounts that will go onto July (month 1). Not that I think I'll be closing mad accounts next week, but that's what they tell us.

Anyways, let's talk a bit about St.Louis. No issues with missing flights this time. I did fine and actually was smart enough to get a ride to the airport this time instead of leaving my truck there for 2 weeks. Brad drove me over and I was at the terminal about 2 hours before the flight boarded. It was a great relief after the last fiasco I went through.

Helder got to EWR about 45 minutes after I did and we just bullshitted and speculated until our flight.

Flight landed 40 minutes EARLY! Who the hell expects to get in EARLY? We learned our lesson with the shuttle and decided to just drop the extra $5 and get a cab. Same hotel, same floor, across the hall from the old room. Got myself some Papa Johns pizza, hooked up my xbox (yes, I brought my xbox on my business trip) and went to sleep.

Then the fun started.

I don't want to go into great detail, but here we go. There were only 2 speakers all week. There was Overexcited Sales Guy and Investment Nerd. After you've been sitting in a classroom for 10 hours a day for 3 weeks listening to presentation after presentation after presentation (all with accompanying story names) it gets hard to be excited about hearing ANYTHING.

Day 2 we were supposed to present a financial plan to a fake customer in our breakout group. I figured it was no big deal so I spent the afternoon playing videogames and eating cold pizza. I was called on to go first the next morning and I had to get in front of the group, on camera, and present a financial plan that I had not prepared and then be evaluated by my trainer who reports directly to my boss. fuck. I felt good about it, but I was told otherwize by Chuck (my trainer) because I didn't use the proper format. I got pissed because he started talking about "not signing off on me" for graduation if I couldn't prove that I knew the correct format to a T. We had another presentation the next day, so I wrote out a specific script, word for word what we had heard in an example video, and without any wavering from said script I rattled off a passive aggressive attack on Chuck. It was possibly the worst presentation ever. I knew it. He knew what I was doing. I was trying to prove that if I went the other way and did everything exactly as it was presented without allowing any of myself to show through that it would suck ass. I did that very well, but now I had started the rumor mill. Everyone wanted to know why I hated chuck, what I did to piss off all the trainers, why I was so angry, etc. I wasn't angry. I was being a stubborn child and proving a point.

So now I was going back to my room tired and frustrated every night. I hate being in class to begin with, but now that I wasn't doing well it was making it even worse. I didn't want to be out there, I didn't want to go to bed on time, I didn't want to wake up early. That room I was in felt like a jail cell and there was nothing I could do to get out of it. I felt just like I did in college football camp. That feeling that you are cows walking to slaughter. That feeling that no matter what you know is going to happen and how much you are going to hate the outcome you still wake up, put on your gear, and do it because you have no choice. I started losing sleep. I couldn't wake up. I couldn't eat. I felt fat, lazy, and stupid. I just wanted something to break up the monotony that wouldn't make my sleep situation worse and wouldn't get me in trouble. I tried playing a ton of xbox, but that wasn't doing it either. I couldn't escape.

Later in the week we finally got to the fun part. We started calling real people and proposing real products and doing real things that will have real results. I did very well. I got a lot of nasty people on the phone, but the nice ones more than made up for any bullshit I got from the haters. I was laughing and feeling relaxed and happy again. I was doing what I know I do well and it was showing in everything. I was putting up numbers that were right inline with what I should have been doing and it was great. But we had one more presentation to go. I did my homework and was ready to go, but I wasn't picked for day 1. Day 2 of final presentations I walk in... and Chuck is not there. He's out with a sick kid at home and Tracy is there to look over our presentations. Tracy and I have had our slight differences. She always thinks I'm angry and I always think she hates me. That's about how it goes. After she actually sat down and talked with me for a while and she told me she had never seen me smile I realized that the typical NJX70 problem of being scary and distant looking even when I feel awesome is still there. I don't try to look distant and scary, but even middle aged sales trainers see it, so I guess I need to work on it. Anyways, the presentation was a home run and I proved myself as one of the best salesmen in our 43 member group (in my not so humble opinion). It felt real. I was presenting a product I feel very strongly about and really made it sound as good as I feel it is. Conversation felt natural and smooth. I did it. Chuck wasn't there. Over the course of the week chuck and I made up, but it really was never a fight. It was the Cold War of St. Louis.

I hung out a lot with a group of people I met out there. Billy and Steve from rochester, C. Whitney from Ithica, Christy from Alabama, Awesome Dan's Evil Twin Sean from Texas, and various others. It was really good to see them all again. It's wierd how sharing difficult situations brings you close to people who you've never met before and probably won't see again for a long long time. If any of you are reading this... what can I do for you, TOday... and I'm going to miss you guys... but not enough to go back to st.louis for any reason anytime soon.

I have some great pictures from this adventure, and I'll post them to my flickr stream and put one or two good ones up here.

I also felt something that was strange. I felt very alone. I'm not talking privacy alone, I'm talking who in this world knows I'm gone alone. People were calling me to see what I was up to and I was like, "dude, I'm in St.Louis on an important business trip I've been talking about for 18 weeks." "Oh." Then I started feeling this sickning feeling of "I'm alone out here and want to call that special person and tell her how much I miss her because she's what's getting me through these hard times" but there was nobody special who's getting me through these hard times. Breaking up with someone is like taking your favorite book and putting painful memories on sticky notes throughout the book. The parts you read on a regular basis have allready had the notes taken care of, but as you go ahead and read parts you haven't seen in a long time you run accross other notes. I don't know when I'll have all the stupid notes out of my book, but every time I do something "new" I get a memory or a feeling that hurts. Actually, hurts is the wrong word. More like I get a new feeling. This time it was me trying to fall back on a loved one for support when I was just feeling alone and shitty, but I had to do it myself. It's been a long time since that was the case and it was a trapping feeling. It was like losing the TV remote and having no idea how to change channels without it. Sure, it can be done, but you've never had to before and now you're stuck watching infomertials when The Contender is on because you're afraid to try.

This is the same feeling I got when I was riding down 287 with the windows down and the radio blasting as the sun went down and I wanted to just reach out and share how happy I was. I used to call her, but I had nobody to call. Trapped. Now that I've experienced many beautiful nights and many happy rides in The Red Dragon I don't even blink. I enjoy it for myself. Now that I've been away from home and feeling lonely the next time I'll be fine, but those sticky notes keep showing up in places I've not been since she left me.

One night was different. I talked to someone that made all the bullshit fade into the background and it felt great. Not every person has that affect on me. I'm glad she's in my life. Sometimes I wonder... nah...

So I get back on my plane and leave for new jersey. I'd never been so happy to see the turnpike in my life. It felt so good to be home. My apartment is a disaster with clothes and bullshit all over the place. Everything was a mess from packing and now it's double messed up from unpacking. Today is koWALA's graduation party, so I have some shit to get done around here (including my laundry which is probably half dried sitting in the washing machine...) but here are some highlights:

Getting a picture with CEO Bob Bagby
24oz PBRs at the blues bar
Crawdads and raw oysters
Tracy gets served by Bob Bagby
Big time Qualified
I'm too old for this shit
I can appreciate that
Walking through downtown St.L
Watching the wedding party at the arch
Singing drunks and 6'6" dudes in drag
The Other Bob
You can clean the sheets, but can you erase the memories?

Anyways, enough of the 13 year old girl inside joke list. I'm out.

Zero Month

I'm back from St.Louis, but I have things to get done, so I'll either edit this post later with some info or just have a whole nother new one.

If this site didn't fall into the category "Adult/Pornography" at the hotel I would have at least posted SOMETHING the past two weeks.

Later

.5 weekend update

Going well thus far. Things to consider, times were had.

I am hoping to figure out if I'm going to have time to write a real post tonight or if I'm going to hit the bars. It's just so fucking hot out that I don't want to be anywhere but in front of my AC. I'll see what's up.

I also have to say I'm getting that stupid sick feeling in my gut that something's coming up that I dont want to do. I really don't want to go back to st.louis. Everything's been going so well. I don't want anything to change, and I'm just about to be launched into the wild. The green light is on. It's time to jump, but I don't want to. I just want to keep doing what I'm doing and stay in jersey. I know it's as minor as it could be, but it's the start of the time period in a FC's life where most of them fail. It's also hazing time. Not by other brokers, but by your responsibilties. It's much harder to bring in cold business than warm business, and I'm new, so everything's cold. I have to spend more time and more energy hitting the phones for the next few years than I will the rest of my career combined. This is what I want. This is what I was prepared to do. I am just scared. I know that's OK as well because of what our CEO Bob Bagby told us when we were in his office. He said, "The only time in my life that I was really scared was when I quit my job and started my career as an FC." He went on to say, "You have the greatest job in the whole world. There is no limit to what you can do now." I am not normally motivated by things like that, but the way he said it with so much real genuine passion made me feel good. He is coming back to address our training class on wednesday I believe, and I'm excited to hear him speak again.

The closer I get to go time, the more I realize it's not the giving up of free time, hastle of the airport, hastle of boring classes, hastle of hastle of hastles, it's just that this is like hitting the ramp. When this period is over I'll be in the sky and there's no guarantee I'll come down on my wheels.

Well, the more I write, the more plans that are being made, and the less chance of me going out. I'll most likely be back.

Ninja's kidnapped my family...

I've been spending waaaay too much time surfing ytmnd.com.

OK, it's the final countdown to st.louis. I leave on sunday afternoon and I won't be back until 2 fridays from today. A solid 2 weeks of training. I got everything done. Every test that had to be completed was passed (besides health insurance... which I'll get to when I get back... eventually). Every asignment has been finished. Every online training session has been attended. I am almost out of training for good. I don't even know what it's going to be like when I'm not coming in every morning and studying for 8 hours a day.

Today I got my list and hit the phones for a while. It was great to be talking to people for a change. I may not be the best studier, but I'm pretty good at running my fat mouth over the phone. I didn't hit my 40 contacts, but I really didn't have that in mind when I started anyways. I got in about 60 dials, 20 contacts, 4 qualified prospects, and no headache. I'm getting to that point where people who respond to the question, "are you an investor?" with "FUCK YOU!" don't bother me anymore. Also, now that I'm getting better at this those fuckers are dwindling in numbers. I had a few great conversations and learned a lot. Nothing helps more than giving it the ol' college try and then talking to experienced callers with specific questions. I just call until I see myself getting stuck at the same objection or same point and then put down the phone, go over my mistakes with 3 or 4 people, and go right back to the phones.

OK, I have a lot to get done tonight. I'll be back.

Dylan!

yeargh! This post is dedicated to one of the greatest movies of our generation. PREDATOR!


HURAY FOR DUDES!


GET TO THE CHOPPER!

You're the man now, Dog

Check out this site. The only catch is that you have to see a ton of pages before it sinks in that what you're seeing is actually funny. I recomend doing a search for the site "raveheart" before you go.

If you're too lazy to figure it all out, just click here and once you've seen enough of one page, hit refresh and you'll get another one. Eventually you'll get the point.

I'd post a few of my favorites here, but I am rocking out to some serious XM Satalite radio and I don't need the extra noise wrecking my musical buzz. Oh, and I loooooooove the station Lucy[54]. It's all the songs I loved when the world was all potential and dreams (aka high school). Not that it's bad now, but the feeling I get hearing these songs now is the same as it was when my biggest concern was not getting caught hooking up in my cutlass salon. Best part? It never stops. 24 hour commercial free late 90s alternative. Amazing.

Goodbye

Did my Halo 2 matchmaking review here!

Click here to read my review of Halo 2 on Xbox Live at my other blog, The Six Sided Ring of Fire!

The moment I knew I was going to play football

I was only about 10 and my friend Billy got one of those shiny new aluminum swing sets with the 2 swings, slide, 2 kid swing, see saw... the works. All the neighborhood kids came over to give it a whirl. All of our backyards were butted up against each other, so it was easy to see what everyone else was up to. When I ran over with my eyes wide and my imagination running wild Billy's mom came running outside and yelled at me, "NJX70, no! You can't play on the swings! You're over the weight limit!" In front of every kid from my block. I ran home accross the old lady's back yard, under the apple tree, the mulberry tree, the pear tree and back to my house where I sat on the swing set my dad had built out of 4X4s and cried. My mom called me in the house and I couldn't say anything. I finally got out why I was crying and she told me, "Don't worry. You're size will be your greatest blessing when you're old enough to play football. I PROMISE you everything will be allright."

[so you have a point of reference, I wrestled 148s when I was 8 years old because you were allowed a 3lb margin of error... which I ended up breaking before I was 9]

That night I dreamed of what it would feel like to wear the gear I saw the giants wearing on TV. I lusted over football. It was all I ever wanted. It was going to make me like everyone else. I was going to be cool. It wasn't going to matter that I was a foot taller and 70lbs heavier than everyone in my grade. I was "blessed" and I was going to prove myself.

I love you, Mom.

Nerd Weekend and Halo 2

I didn't post shit this weekend because that's what happened... nothing. Actually, there were a couple highlights, but here's how it went. I sorta make plans with about 5 differnet entities for the same day/night and they all fall through. I end up hanging out with brad both friday and saturday night... and our heavyweight champ on fight night round 2 is amazing. We hooked up my second TV and his xbox and nerded it up like old school nerd gangstas. Played a ton of Halo 2 and got the usual. It starts out with us getting frustrated, then we change gears and can't stop laughing, then someone gets pissed (Mike) and flips the fuck out and leaves. Yes, kids are annoying. Yes, we lose just as often as we win. Yes, that's the idea.

Speaking of, I figured something out. Halo 2 is very frustrating to a lot of my old rainbow six 3 friends because they find that they are either not as affective in an arcade shooter as they are a simulation shooter, trash talk, or cheating. Bungie is doing a fantastic job with follow up on this game and are doing everything in their power to stop cheaters doing anything to manipulate the game. In fact, if you cheat and are caught (aka someone reports you for cheating and they look up your game on bungie.net and find that you actually were cheating) you are banned from xbox live for life. The next part that makes this game frustrating is the trash talk. It does suck, but you can always leave and start again. This is my major problem with the game, but there's no way to rationalize it. Bungie, proximity speach was a major fuckup. The final part is the "man I suck at this fucking game" syndrome. When we'd play rainbow we'd win some and lose some, but in the end we ALWAYS would dominate when it was our group of friends against randoms. If people cheated, they had to answer to it in the lobbey and would be removed to never return. If we were just getting our asses kicked in some room we'd just leave and join another one never to see them again. In Halo2, you have no controll over who you play, so the people you are playing feel they can say and do whatever the fuck they please because they will never see you again. The only criteria being used is your level which depends on your wins and losses. If you keep winning you go up in rank, if you lose you go down. The goal is to find an equal match all the time. According to Bungie.net (who keeps insane stats on every game you've played online and an easy interface to view them all... including every kill location... amazing) here is my match/win ratio for all games I've played since the stat reset about a month ago:

Rumble Pit (solo): 1/0 NA
Big Team Battle (8v8): 16/8 .500
Team Slayer (4v4): 88/48 .545
Team Preview (4v4): 30/15 .500
Double Team (2v2): 30/16 .533

According to these stats it's not as bad as it seems. If my ratio of wins to losses was higher or lower than .500 it would say that I'm not matched up against people who I am fit to play. Yes, dominating games is fun, but is that what you really want? I've spoke about this with my friends several times and they feel that rank should be completely eliminated in favor of a "you get what you get" matchmaking system, but I know for a fact that when I've played in rooms with people ranked much higher than myself I've been smoked and when I've played under different gamertags with much lower ranks I've simply run over people. Maybe now that I've reached the level I'm at the losses are leveling out with the serious wins of the past, but I feel strongly that eventually I'll be at an equilibrium where I will win some, lose some, and it will be fine. I just don't know if I'll be able to get some of my friends to realize this.

I am posting this on my late ass luch, so I'm going back to work. If I'm so motivated I'll post a much more in depth review of matchmaking either here or on my nerd blog http://thesixsidedringoffire.blogspot.com this afternoon.

Goodbye...

Welcome to my future

I've had a wonderful week. I've met new people, ate great food, and got a ton of work done. I might even be on track to get to st.louis worry free! nah, that shit isn't a possibility, but who cares.

I've been very cheap this week on the AC because I got my first electric bill and it was higher than I had expected. Especially since I wasn't around all that much. Tonight it's muggy in here and I think it's going to finally be AC time again. Wow, great story, jackass.

I decided to put up the typical blogger post below because I really didn't want to leave the page empty. I had a great day yesterday and wanted to at least say something. Somehow it sounds different than I expected. When I said I can find a reason to forget, I was not talking about past relationships. I was talking about fears, attitudes, insecurities, etc. I think I'm finally on the right track to doing things right.

I've also been doing a lot of talking about what my perfect relationship would be like and the more I think about it, the less requirements. Right now all I'm looking for in a lady is someone who enjoys living a similar life to mine and makes the things I do better. I am learning how important looks are to me, but only because of some issues where I found girls I really really liked, but was not attracted to. I felt like garbage letting that get in between us, but it simply could not be done. The desire to see a girl naked is important. She doesn't have to be a model, but if I am not instantly picturing her naked, then no deal. I hate how that sounds, but think about it. If you didn't want to have sex with someone under any circumstances, how would that work out? Even if he/she was a great time and a great person, if there's not at least SOMETHING to hold onto in the physical department, then it simply cannot work. On an unrelated note (yeah right) I can see why some girls who I get along with great can seriously just want to be my friend. I'm not everyone's type no matter how handsome my mom says I am (I love you, mom).

So here I am. Tired and happy. I don't really have a ton I'd like to share with the world tonight, but I hope to have more great stories for you soon.

Goodbye

Change

Sometimes things change...

...othertimes they stay the same


I might be able to find a reason to forget.


A fool is someone who tries the same action expecting different results

but...

The early bird gets the worm...

...but the early worm gets eaten
...but the second mouse gets the cheese